Midnight and High Noon
by lilrilakkuma
Summary: Meihua Xu and Sirius Black are the school's newest power couple: attractive, popular, and all over each other. It's too bad they're both in love with someone else. {Slight AU, SB/OC/RL}
1. Like Minds

Slughorn's lecture seemed to drag on forever in the humid heat of the June afternoon. It was the last week before finals, and it was apparent that most students had already mentally checked out by the look of things. Idle chatter drowned out any sound of quills scratching against parchment, although the professor didn't seem to notice or mind as he droned on mostly to himself. Their minds were elsewhere. Even in the cool dungeon, the air was heavy and damp and enough to make one's hairs stick to the sweat on their forehead.

Sirius Black nudged the girl sat beside him. She turned to face him and smiled, face as pale as the moon surrounded by straight black hair that defied humidity. "Oi, Mei… are you coming to the party tonight?"

She glimpsed at the group through a curtain of thick eyelashes and confirmed everyone was now looking at her. At the long table sat Sirius and his mates (affectionately known as the Marauders), along with the slight framed girl called Meihua Xu and her own mates from Hufflepuff, Lucinda Carew and Tate Padmoore. The girl simply rolled her eyes and tugged on a lock of her hair that strayed into her vision. Sirius and her had started dating at the beginning of the year, which came as little surprise to the entire school. They were a natural match.

"Well, I am supposed to have prefect duties - so no, I probably won't make it."

Sirius leaned close into her and gave a soft chuckle in her ear that made the hairs on her neck stand upright. "Remmie mentioned something about that, but.. I thought you could make an exception seeing as how this is to celebrate my recent quidditch victory, yeah?"

"Oh, you mean the Gryffindor victory…" Lucinda muttered. Despite her wispy yellow curls and golden complexion, she had a tendency to be dark and sarcastic. Some people may have wondered how someone seemingly so lurid could have been sorted into Hufflepuff. Sirius would not have been surprised if this was a mistake on the Sorting Hat's part if she was meant to be in Slytherin.

Lucinda's comment wasn't intended as a joke, yet it still inspired laughter from some of the others, including Remus who was seen shaking his head at his best friend. "He's got a bad habit of whispering quite loudly, doesn't he?"

"Doesn't know how to shut his gob, more like."

At this their friend, Peter, too, laughed as he did at everything - or at least whenever his mates were seen laughing. Meihua decided to turn her nose back to the front of the class, thinking that the bloke was a bit of a question mark in her mind. He didn't say much and didn't seem the type to hang with Sirius's lot. He did like to stare though, often enough she caught him looking in her direction when he thought she must not have been paying attention.

She caught, from the corner of her eye, an impish grin on Sirius's face that suggested they would revisit the conversation again before that night.

"It's not the worst I've endured by far," Tate said, a slight framed boy with thick chocolate curls that framed his sharp features. A tad effeminate, he fit right in the girls Hufflepuff clique like a puzzle piece.

Meihua scoffed at her friend and returned to pretending to pay attention to the lecture while Sirius and James went through another animated rundown of the winning match, total gibberish to her. Potions was a subject that she actually enjoyed, no thanks to the lackluster professor. She reveled in the practical aspect of the course, but she wasn't particularly skilled in note taking, listening to lectures, or…

"That reminds me," Meihua spoke across the table to Remus. "Do you think I could borrow your notes?"

Remus, probably the only one at the table who was diligently note taking, looked up from his parchment to lock eyes with her. He arched a brow and gave a winsome smile that made her feel somewhat faint.

"Shall I hand them over now or wait until later tonight?"

"No, no." The little witch smiled, waving her hand dismissively. "Take your time now."

"He's a right good bloke, isn't he?" James playfully grabbed Remus's shoulder beside him. James himself began to jot down an indecipherable version of Remus's neat script. "I swear, if it weren't for him, I'd-"

"Excuse me, Miss Xu. Is there something you'd like to share with the class that would warrant such an interruption?" Slughorn asked, his sudden break from his lecture causing everyone to fall silent.

All eyes suddenly fell on Meihua who sat in the very back of the classroom. It was typical the professor would single her out even though practically no one was paying attention. She probably had the lowest essay scores and attendance of anyone in the class.

"Well, I…" Her cheeks grew quite hot. The distant bells of the Clock Tower rang, signalling the end of the period. Sirius sniggered as she started putting her books away in her bag as if feigning ignorance. With her back to the professor, she pulled a sour face at James.

"Oh, dear… 10 points from Hufflepuff. I hate to do this, perhaps this will teach to make a proper example as prefect," Slughorn drawled.

It took a lot of willpower for her to not roll her eyes then. It was anyone's guess as to why Meihua made prefect as her overall school performance was honestly rubbish. She may have been popular amongst her peers, but she was not a star pupil. She felt Sirius pull on the sleeve of her robes before he leaned in to whisper. "Meet me outside the broom closet at the end of the corridor in five, love."

Sirius winked at her before taking off with his mates. She watched as the group walked off together, waving to Remus after he stole a backwards glance in her direction. Perhaps the heavy, damp air was driving her mad, but she needed to see Sirius straight away.

"Incorrigible," Lucinda commented dryly. She stood at the end of the table with her bag already slung over her shoulder, waiting for her dazed friend. Lucinda had a voice so soft and demure it would have been impossible to tell her annoyance if you didn't know her.

"Huh?" Meihua turned to her friend, unsure for a moment if the blonde didn't mean Sirius. Lucinda's blank expression offered little indication either way. Meihua was left to job after them leaving the classroom in an effort to keep up.

"I just don't know how you stand him…" Lucinda whined. "Sirius and his mates can be completely… _nauseating_ at times."

"That's good, isn't it?" Tate chimed in. "That sholder mean they're perfect for each other."

"They're really not so bad once you get to know them…" Meihua attempted a lame defense. "It can't be nearly as bad as you little fling with little prissy Barty Crouch Jr."

Lucinda glared at Tate when he snorted at that comment. "Well, what do you know - we all make mistakes."

"I'll say it again, you really ought to give him a proper change," Meihua insisted, though she knew perfectly well the reason for her friend's aversion to the boys. "At any rate, you're not the one dating him…"

If her friends were expecting a quick-witted rebuttal, they would have only been met with uncomfortable silence.

"Well, come on, then. We have Divination next!" Tate, now in a much better mood that it was time for their favourite class, gestured to the pair to get a move on. "It's not such a short walk to the North Tower."

"Right…" Meihua leaned back forth on the balls of her feet with a sly smirk dancing upon her lips. "I actually do have something to take care of quickly-"

"Oh, just _go,_ " Lucinda snapped.

Tate simply shrugged. "Do be quick, love. I can't cover for you all the ruddy days of the week."

Meihua broke into an impossibly wide grin, turning on her heel and leaving her friends in a sprint. Her large stride was brought to a halt steps before the dead end of the corridor where she saw Sirius engaged in conversation with Mary Macdonald. She managed to maintain a calm exterior despite the sudden squeamish feeling she got in the pit of her stomach. Seeing the blonde Gryffindor throw her head back in laughter evoked a potent reaction in her.

"Sirius?" She tried her best to smile sincerely and appear friendly as she wedged her way between the pair. "Could I have a word?"

"Ah, I was just off to my next class anyways," Mary managed after she stifled her laughter. "I'll be out of your hair now. Ta!"

"Well, don't ask me how I'm doing, you…" Meihua muttered darkly as she watched the other witch fade out of her view after joining a gaggle of Gryffindor girls.

"Now, now…" Sirius soothed as he pecked her cheek, leaning down in order to reach the petite girl. "Is my little Mei looking a tad green?"

"Do I have reason?" Meihua pouted. Her full lips were decorated in an opaque rose gloss which enticed Sirius. He smirked. Quickly, as to not arouse suspicion, he forcefully grabbed her shoulders and shoved the both of them into the inconspicuous hole in the wall.

With the door closed, there was no light in the cramped broom closet. Meihua couldn't see Sirius's face, but she could feel his rough, calloused hands between her thighs in the bare space between her stocking and her underwear and his hot breath on her neck. He nipped once and she muffled a yelp, grabbing the back of his hair in retaliation. The coarse stubble on his chin irritated to soft, sensitive skin of her neck. He instinctively placed a gentle kiss on the same spot before his knee found its way between the apex of her thighs. She let out a groan in his shoulder before she could stop herself, which only encouraged him to begin grinding against the hot mound. It was always like this when they found themselves alone together, usually sneaking around in empty corridors or classrooms at night.

 _Sirius and I are a lot alike…_

Sirius reached his hand beneath her shirt and grasped at her breasts over the thin lace of her brassiere. She gasped and leaned further into his solid frame. His body was warm, soft, and it satisfied her. In the darkness, she didn't have to close her eyes to imagine the truest desires of her heart.

 _We both have things the other needs, so we can always be there to comfort each other..._

It wasn't long before Meihua forgot all about the Macdonald girl, or why she ever felt envious in the first place. After all, Sirius didn't belong to her, really. They were only substitutes for each other, until perhaps something better came along.

* * *

" _Sirius?"_

 _The pair were seated on the floor in an abandoned part of the school library, uncharacteristically surrounded by books. Neither of them were particularly the bookish type, so Meihua hadn't expected to actually be studying when he had asked her earlier that day._

 _She pursed her lips at the lack of response. Sirius was sloppily scribbling on a piece of parchment, anxious for the test he had the following day._

" _We aren't really going to study… I'm so bored." Meihua crawled on her hands and knees on the carpet around him so that she could peak over his shoulders at his work, draping an arm around his neck._

" _I can feel your breasts against my back, you know," he stated as if it was ordinary conversation._

 _Meihua said nothing in response. He put his quill down shortly after and in one swift movement, pushed his books aside and pinned the girl down with her wrists above her head. Sh saw his eyes inches apart from her own, cloudy and grey. She knew she had entered dangerous territory. Slowly he lowered his head, painfully slow as if to give her a chance to shove him off, until their lips finally met. She let her eyes flutter shut, tilting her head upwards into the awkward kiss. She could feel his resistance._

" _It's okay," she whispered against his dry lips. "Just close your eyes and pretend I'm her."_

 _He pulled away slightly, and for a moment she feared his reaction. Without another word, he kissed her again, this time deeper and more desperately. Meihua ran her tongue against his bottom lip and his movements soon became faster and more fluid. He loosened his grip on her wrists and allowed his hand to graze the silky skin of her arms down to her breasts, then her sides. And soon working their way back up again._

 _It wasn't long before her hands were gripping his back, and his tongue had entered her mouth to explore and tease her. When she involuntarily panted and moaned in his mouth, he brought a hand against her lips to silence her and moved onto her neck. Biting and sucking with an intensity that made her squirm underneath him._

 _Neither of them said another another, even long after they had smoothed out the wrinkles in their uniforms and headed out of the library together as though nothing had happened._

 **A/N:**

 **A little information for the people who follow this story… I had decided to start over again, because there were numerous mistakes in the text and I wasn't happy with the first person point of view I had originally written it in. I'm more or less taking this story in a similar direction, although there will be some significant changes in the text. I hope that those who might like and follow this story will be patient and bear with me as I continue publishing this story in a way that I can be happy with.**

 **As always, I would love to see a review to hear your thoughts and I always appreciate it any form of support or criticism.**


	2. Chasing Dragons

"Are you neglecting your post?" Remus found Meihua on the floor of the corridor during his night rounds, kneeling with her bottom on her heels and hunched over a book.

"Don't worry, I'm not studying," she said without taking my eyes off the page. "It's something I'm using to procrastinate with."

He lowered himself to her eye level, bending at the knees to get a good look of what she was reading. "Pablo Neruda. A muggle author, huh? I've heard of him, but never read any of his works."

He tilted his head mockingly. "Are you more cultured than me now?"

She scoffed. "Don't get excited, it was a birthday gift from Lucinda. I don't understand half of this."

She tucked the small book into the pocket of her robes before straightening her legs to stand up. She hadn't realized her legs had since become numb and tingly from sitting so long in that position, and she used the wall behind me for support. He got up after her, and held onto her arm when he saw her stumble. She couldn't help but notice his hands were rather large around her twiggy arm, and standing next to her he stood even taller than Sirius. He still appeared a bit lanky, but she could no longer recognize the little boy she first met on the train in their first year. He seemed to mature faster than his male peers, appearing much older than his seventeen years of age.

"So what brings you here? Did you get lonely during your rounds?" She tried to act blasé.

"On the contrary, I was doing fine until I saw you loitering." He smirked. "I wonder if I ought to dock points for neglecting prefect duties."

She rolled her eyes. "Nice try, but even I know you don't have the authority to take away any Hufflepuff points. Besides, you don't have to go looking this far for people to punish - there's a rager going on in your own common room as we speak."

Remus laughed. "Oh, but I would be a villain to stop their fun."

"Well, do you want to join them then? It's no use pretending to be a good prefect now."

Remus gave her a bit of a scolding look and it became blatantly clear he wasn't joking anymore. "Why do you always complain that you're no good when you never even try? You're a smart girl who's managed to slide by with little effort, but you'll never see your full potential if you don't at least try."

She could only glare at him, straight black eyebrows that tapered upwards when deeply furrowed. Despite her delicate composition, she had a face that could make trolls run for the hills when she was displeased. "Let's go get drunk."

She started down the corridor, heading towards Gryffindor tower. A moment later she could hear his footsteps on the stone floor seconds after, trailing her.

"How do you have such a long stride for someone so little?" He panted after he caught up to her. "Are you afraid what will happen if you actually try for once?"

She groaned. "I get it, I'm a flippin' elf. And the problem isn't that I'm afraid of failure. It's that I can't get myself to care about things that don't matter."

"School doesn't matter?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing really matters in life other than the things that bring us joy," she said sweetly, offering him a meek smile.

He gave the girl a toothy grin back, in turn causing her stomach to flip. "You must lend me that book if it's responsible for your suddenly being so philosophical."

"Great, actually maybe you could help me decipher this nonsense."

She shoved him playfully, or rather tried to and met with a solid frame. She felt her complexion redden, turning her face away so he wouldn't see the evidence written plainly on her face. Silently she wondered why she never heard Remus talk about his own future and aspirations. He was always a model student, but it was never clear quite what for, what he was striving towards.

The pair stopped at the portrait of the Old Lady, who seemed to be stirring in her sleep. It was no wonder why, since the ruckus in the common room could even be heard from outside. Remus spoke up, "Pixie dust."

The portrait swung open and he gestured for Meihua to step in first. By looks of things, it had to be close to midnight. There was obnoxious rock music playing from a magical gramophone, the sound nearly drowned out by intoxicated hollering and laughter. The entire common room was decorated in Gryffindor's colours from the floating banners to the paint on people's faces. Remus caught a glimpse of James and Sirius in the corner of the room, tossing the Quidditch cup back and forth and nearly hitting a passerby in the head with it. He could only assume they were past the point of sobriety by the fact that they were both shirtless and wearing their red and gold ties around their heads.

Meihua turned to Remus who smiled bashfully upon seeing her straight expression.

"So are we going to find ourselves a drink before I change my mind?" She joked.

"Here you are." He placed a hand on her shoulder, guiding her through the swarm of drunkards and dancing people, until they reached a bench with a couple kegs and plastic cups sitting on it. He started to pour Meihua a drink before he saw something in the corner of his eye, standing directly behind her.

"Mei..! That's my girl… I knew you would blow off your rounds for me…" Sirius slurred. He snaked his arms around her waist tightly, bending down slightly to rest his head on her shoulder. "And you brought my dear, dear Moony. This is perfect, my two favourite people in attendance..makes this a perfect party."

Merlin's beard, you smell like death… Meihua's lips curled up slightly disgustedly, but gave him a peck on the cheek still. Remus averted his gaze with the drink still in his hand. He was used to being the third wheel when Sirius was around his girlfriends, or at least he thought he was.

"It's not like you were waiting up, love. You're completely pissed."

Remus finally handed Meihua her drink and she took a large sip, drinking as much as she could in one go. He turned around and poured himself one from the keg. "I have a feeling I'll be dragging these blokes to bed by the end of the night."

"What are friends for, eh?" James came around now, resting his elbow on Meihua's free shoulder. Meihua's knees buckled from the weight of the two drunk boys leaning on her for support.

"You berks, I only weigh 7 stone!" She shrugged them off, making Sirius tumble a bit. Her stomach sank slightly when she realized it was probably too late to expect any intimacy that night. With that thought, she threw back the rest of the bitter, warm beer and took the liberty of pouring herself another. Thankfully (or perhaps unfortunately) her slight size contributed to a poor tolerance of alcohol, so she could already feel the numbing relief through her system.

James threw his head back in laughter. "Your girlfriend really is an elf, isn't she?"

"Keep talking and I'll make sure Evans has a real reason to not look at you as a man," she said bitterly, mostly joking, while tightening the tie around his head.

"Hullo, Mei." It was Peter Pettigrew, looking rather festive with red and gold paint on his face and an ample amount of sweat around his underarms. She thanked Merlin he had the infinite wisdom to keep his shirt on instead of following his mates' stead.

"Hi, Peter." She nodded curtly in his direction. She had asked Sirius once why he was friends with someone like Peter, who seemed so unlike him, but his response was just that she should give him a proper chance. She supposed she had been quick to judge him based on appearances. After all, he never actually did anything wrong.

"I thought you weren't coming tonight, from what you said in class earlier," he said, offering her a bottle of bizarre looking green liquor. She shook her head perhaps too quickly.

"You haven't gathered that her prefect badge is just for show?" James jested, causing Sirius to roar in laughter. Meihua pursed her lips, a faint rouge glow playing upon her cheeks from frustration or perhaps the alcohol.

"The students will handle themselves without her supervision," Remus defended Meihua and shot her a wink.

"Where are your mates?" Peter asked.

"They must have missed your invitation," she answered him sarcastically. "I really only came straight from my rounds just-"

"Shh, shh.. Come up to my dormitory, love." Sirius 'whispered' in her ear so loudly she thought it possible the whole party might have heard him. He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind again, this time snaking a hand upwards towards her breast. She jumped and slapped his hand away. James whistled, and Peter just snickered. She looked up at Remus for any response, but he only offered a glum smile.

"Is it already time to drag him off to bed then?" she laughed nervously, hey eyes now downcast. The only reason she showed up at the party at all wasn't because she wanted to get drunk, but rather a need to fill her void. She wanted to feel Sirius's body over hers in order to forget about everything. Exams which she might have failed, unrequited love and the like. There was a fat chance of that tonight. With only the alcohol to fall back on, she finished what was left in her cup before shoving him off again.

"Yeah. I think so." Remus took hold of his stumbling friend, ducking his head under Sirius's arm so he could drag him up the stairs into the boys' dormitories. She decided to follow him, trying in vain to help him drag Sirius (who now seemed barely conscious) up the stairs. Once they finally entered their dormitory, she let Remus take the lead until he heaved his friend into his four poster bed. She draped the nearest knit throw over Sirius's body, and kissed his forehead goodnight. He'll be fine in the morning.

"You ought to get back to your common room now. It's become quite late."

She knew she couldn't have had that much to drink and couldn't even remember getting tipsy, but she suddenly felt sick. She tried to focus on Remus to ease her dizziness, but he swayed back and forth her my vision like a pendulum.

"Are you alright?" His voice was laced with concern.

"What a disappointment… I didn't even get a chance to get drunk."

She made an attempt to stand off the bed and flew forwards after stepping on her own robes, falling facedown on the hardwood. Remus jumped up to grab her unfortunately a second too late, but still lifted her up by the waist and allowed her to lean on him for support. She looked up into his face, willing it to stay still for a moment so she might be able to concentrate on his hazel eyes or count the mysterious scars on his face. Her face became deep red from the alcohol consumption, and her hair in disarray. He brushed a thumb over her forehead to comb away the stray hairs in her vision.

The entire room was swirling in her vision and she had to squeeze her eyes shut to keep away thoughts of nausea. She remembered hearing Remus's steady heartbeat in his chest, feeling lighter than air as she buried her face in his shirt. One hand extended its fingers far apart against the soft weave of the fabric, conforming to the shape of his flesh underneath. Soon she drifted off to a different plane.

Meihua was sitting alone in the Hufflepuff common room, cozy in the golden loveseat in front of the fireplace. It was so late in the night that the fire was reduced to mere embers. Her eyelids grew heavy, slowly drooping farther down as she tried to focus on the familiar, tattered anthology of poetry by Pablo Neruda. Poems that might have inspired heartache if she could comprehend them. Something about drinking turpentine…

"Mei?" Sirius?

"What are you doing here?"

She immediately straightened up in the corner of the sofa, the book falling out of her lap in the process. Her hair, at one point in a top bun, was half loose with a fringe of stray hairs falling into her eyes. Sirius sat down beside her. He brought his face inches from hers before he pulled out a brass hairpin that held the bun together, leaving her hair to fall down completely. He discarded the stick and gently brushed the hair out of her face, closing the space between them by pressing his lips against full, soft ones.

It was different this time, so much gentler he usually was. His lips were moving painfully slow against hers that it left her aching. She let out a soft moan in response, begging for him to relieve her. Still she felt his resistance for some reason. She let her tongue slide over his bottom lip, still he didn't budge. She ran long, thin fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp with her sharp nails as she tried to pull him closer into her. Something she knew he couldn't resist.

"Meihua?"

She retreated slightly, resting her forehead on his. "You never call me by my full name," she whispered against his lips.

Her eyes fluttered open. She was greeted by someone else in front of her with wheat coloured hair and light scars across his face. "Remus…"

Though his expression forlorn, he leaned into her, again painfully slowly. Her eyes fluttered shut once last time to savour his kiss, waiting to finally see what he tasted like.

"Meihua?"

Suddenly she was brought back into reality, the sun's beams coming down from the window beating against the thick wool blanket draped over her. She was covered in sweat, with clothes sticking to her body that now felt too tight. Her head was pounding relentlessly. With great care, she turned over to see Lucinda hovering over her.

"Can you let me go back to sleep for a minute…" Meihua's voice came out dry and groggy, and Lucinda thought that she must have heard what her voice would be like if she were at 80 year old woman.

"Why?" Lucinda asked disdainfully. "So you can dream about snogging Remus Lupin? Are you already over that Sirius bloke?"

Her face flushed, eyes still puffed up and half open. "Do I always talk in my sleep?"

She sighed. "You didn't need to. He dragged you back here in the middle of the night, only he couldn't figure out how to get in so he was lucky I can't sleep when the moon is over 90% illuminated…"

Right… I forgot she's weird about that. She buried her face into a downy pillow. "It's too early for the third degree…"

"Well, not exactly. You missed breakfast but I was holding onto the expectation that you wouldn't be totally hopeless today."

She sat down at the foot of the four posted bed, already dressed and made up for the day with immaculate makeup and perfume that smelled of freshly cut roses. She was a tall and voluptuous girl, with the kind of body that could make even the frumpy school uniforms look inviting. Meihua brooded bitterly that Lucinda was probably more of Sirius's type than she was, and then she was reminded of the Macdonald girl from Gryffindor that made her blood boil. After all, Sirius was a man, wasn't he?

She tossed the pillow to the ground and looked down at her own body in her tank top and loose cotton shorts, rail thin and truly as short as an elf without any curves to speak of. She wondered when she had gotten changed from last night.

"You give me too much credit if you really thought that," she said miserably. "It's the weekend... I've got nowhere important to be that isn't my bed."

"You have a hangover, don't you?"

She nodded lamely.

"Alright then," she said. She got up and began to rummage through her nightstand drawer until she came up with a small emerald vial. She swirled it around, observing the liquid inside before handing it to her friend. "Pepperup."

Meihua popped the cap off and watched the steam escaping the vial before throwing it back as quickly as she could before she could have a chance to gag. Lucinda always maintained an arsenal of useful potions for every ailing, no surprise as her mother was a Potions Master. She suddenly felt even warmer, but her headache was quite relieved. "Thanks, Lucinda. I really can always count on you."

"Not that I am trying to interrogate you…" Lucinda paused, pursing her lips as if trying to find the appropriate wording. "But what are you doing with Sirius? You two have been going out the whole year now, but it doesn't really seem that… well, serious. You two always have your hands on each other, yet it doesn't seem like you two are otherwise a real couple in any sense…"

It was clear why Lucinda was taking her time to choose her words carefully. She wasn't normally the type to do so. Indeed, she was a quick witted and articulate witch. It was because she knew Meihua would jump back into the covers and avoid the question she didn't even want to ask herself.

Love is… completely futile when it's one-sided. It isn't romantic or beautiful. But I just can't seem to give it up the things my heart wants, even if it tears me apart. It wasn't Sirius I was addicted to, but rather the image of being with the person I really loved.

A/N:

Not much here in the text has changed, for those of you here from the beginning. I was originally going to scrap this chapter entirely, but decided that I actually rather liked it. As always, follow/fav/review to give me life!


	3. The Rules

"Are you excited to go back home?" Tate sat lengthwise on the golden coloured loveseat in the common room, opening another chocolate frog. He had been letting them escape and watching them slowly melt in the sweltering heat. They would continue to attempt to jump around, crippled from melted limbs, until they were left crawling and leaving a chocolate trail behind them on the floor. He groaned and tossed his card to Lucinda who sat opposite him on a black and red upholstered seat.

"Another Dumbledore?" She scanned the card before tossing it back to him. "What am I going to do with another one of those?"

"I dunno…" Meihua sighed, ignoring Lucinda to answer Tate's question. She sat kneeling at the round coffee table, tracing the patterns in the wood with her fingertips. Her book lie abandoned on its spine on the floor, exposing the worn edges of the pages. It had taken a beating since she started carrying it around everywhere. "My granddad's going to make me work the whole summer so if you're looking for me, you can say hello at Lucky Convenience in lovely London's East End."

The week of finals came and went as a complete blur to her since she had barely slept from intense cramming of each subject the night before. There were a few times between exams where she would find a moment to meet Sirius in their secret spot in the library, adrenaline heightened by the fact that they could be caught at any moment. She would have gladly lived the stressful events of the past week over again in order to avoid going home for the summer, getting her marks in the post, and potentially having a discussion with Sirius about where their relationship was going. If they might still continue playing boyfriend and girlfriend after the summer and continue on as if everything was the same.

"It is so cool that your grandfather owns a convenience store…" Tate mused. "I wish we had something like that in Diagon Alley. Think about it: a place where you can get everything from cigarettes, to candy, to condoms. Fun for the whole family."

Lucinda snorted. She was flicking her wand, practicing cleaning up the now deceased chocolate frogs off the carpet. "Tergeo. You know we'll be there."

"Who knows, maybe one weekend we'll come and kidnap you by broom!" Tate beamed. Meihua smiled and couldn't help but to think he looked so cute with his huge toothy grin and little upturned nose. She wondered if by the end of the summer, he would become broad and tall like the other boys have in their year. It would be weird if she had to look up to him, too.

"It's the least I can do to help out… He isn't getting any younger, he can't work the same hours with his bad hip," she said. She had been living with her grandfather in the tiny flat above the shop since her mother died when I was 12. The space was tight and they never had a lot of money, but they never went without what they needed. She knew her friends, who both came from wealthy pureblood families, couldn't be able to understand. She wondered what people are school would think if they could see her at home, poor and parentless and less untouchable than she portrayed herself at school. Meihua never really spoke openly about the details of her home life to most people, she wouldn't want to give them something to talk about.

Tate sighed dramatically. "Oh, Meihua… Lovely, lovely Meihua. We wouldn't possibly dream of leaving our precious little plum blossom alone for the whole summer to wither away."

"I'll write you every day." Lucinda bent over to play with Meihua's tightly plaited hair. "Even if you have been spoiled by the likes of a Marauder, you'll always be my little innocent flower."

She blushed furiously. "Bugger off! I'm still a virgin, you know…"

Tate and Lucinda exchanged curious glances. "Really?!" they both exclaimed in unison.

"Trust me…" she heaved. "I don't want to lose it until I'm really in love… And when I do actually fall in love, you'll know."

"I just thought…" Tate trailed off in thought. "Well, you both are always snogging off in the corner, but I guess that doesn't mean you're having sex. I suppose I just didn't peg him as the type of guy to wait around."

She picked up her book from the floor, pretending to be more interested in its content than making eye contact with anyone. It proved impossible for her to focus, with the sun beating down from the large circular windows making her feel faint. Although the Hufflepuff common room was in the basement, it was always bright and full of natural light and thriving, leafy plants.

"Enough about me… What about you lot, what are your plans for the summer?"

"I'm going to be helping my mum in her apothecary, so I'll be in the city as well. Although… I'll be in Diagon Alley. And I don't really own much Muggle attire, and I don't trust those little rusty boxes on wheels."

"And you never learned how to use the tube," Tate pointed out.

"Neither did you, you turkey!" Lucinda playfully threw a crocheted cushion at Tate's head.

"Hey! I'm just going to be stuck in Scotland surrounded by acres of grass, trees, and rocks… You're so lucky you two get to be in the city, I'm going to have to enchant a boulder into a friend for company."

"I'll write you everyday," Meihua assured him. "As long as you write first since I don't have an owl of my own…"

"Of course we will, luv," said Lucinda. "It won't be that easy to get rid of us."

* * *

The last day of school came before Meihua had the chance to even realize what day it was. After shoving lumps of clothes and personal effects in her trunk, she decided to skip breakfast and find Sirius for one last tryst before they departed for the train. She found herself patiently waiting for him around a dead end on the fourth floor, a most peculiar place since they had never been there together before. After 20 minutes of trying to wait for him inconspicuously, she was ready to give up, annoyed and unsatiated, until she finally saw a familiar figure approaching from down the corridor.

"Are you ready?" Sirius smirked at her, looking quite pleased with himself.

"What-" She started before he heaved the mirror off the wall. She was rendered speechless by what she saw. There was a secret room located behind the mirror, the likes of which she had never seen before. She had heard talk about secret rooms and shortcuts within the castle, even Sirius bragging about having known them all. But she hadn't expected anything like this, hiding in plain sight.

"How on Merlin's green earth did you know about this?!" she exclaimed.

"Climb on in then, unless you want the whole school to know what we're doing!" Sirius whispered loudly.

Without another word, she jumped in and he followed close behind, careful to place the mirror back. It was more spacious than a cramped, dirty broom closet and certainly there'd be more privacy. It seemed to be a passageway to somewhere, only it was impossible standing there to know where to. Then she turned to look at him saw a look in his eyes that almost frightened her - he looked absolutely ravenous.

He pinned her to the wall immediately and began to kiss and nip at her neck with need and intensity. She couldn't help but let out a moan then and she felt relieved for once that he didn't cover her mouth to shut her up. He lifted her easily, allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist. It took him no time at all to move onto her mouth, biting her lower lip so hard she thought he would draw blood. She gasped and when he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth, it was nothing short of demanding. Although he was never one to be gentle with her, his sudden need both surprised and aroused her. She could barely keep up with him, it was all she could do simply to grasp a fistful of his wool sweater in her hands and kiss him back.

In one swift movement, he dipped her onto the cool stone floor with her legs still wrapped around him. Sirius dipped his hand beneath her skirt, brushing a thumb over the thin lace pants now exposed to the cool air and causing her to yelp into his mouth. She quickly shuffled herself up on the stone floor, crossing her arms over her chest. He looked away, seeming a bit embarrassed or frustrated. She couldn't quite tell.

"Okay!" she said, exasperated. "We're going to need ground rules if we're going to continue the way we are now."

She hadn't expected him to laugh. She maintained a stern expression to let him know she wasn't joking around. Sirius crawled up beside her and smiled into her hair. "Okay, I'll start. Rule one is never fall in love."

"Good rule." She nodded shortly. "Second, we're never going to have sex."

Sirius paused before nodding along. "Probably a good rule… Also, our arrangement is automatically void if either of our unrequited loves should ever flourish."

"Anything else?" She turned to face him, looking him dead in the eye.

"Well, since you ask… What's going to happen to us over the summer?"

Oh, Merlin. Why did I ask.

"How do you mean?" She brushed the bits of hair that had fallen out of her braid during their rendezvous behind her ear, now content to stare at the ground instead. "I mean… do you think it's better to end it? Can't we just keep going the way we are now when we come back to school?"

"Sure, well… I'm not going to have time for you during the summer. My parents are, well… strict. And I don't think they'd approve of us, for many reasons. None of which are your fault," he explained. "But if you'll still have me when we do meet again…"

He climbed over her, planting one sweet kiss behind her ear. She smiled now that the queasy feeling in her stomach had dissipated. She rolled her head over on the stone floor, exposing her neck to him to explore. He took the hint, planting kisses from her jawline down to her collarbone. Each one tender and wet. "Don't worry about that… I'm sure we'll have a lot of catching up to do after the summer."

Tired of speaking, she took his face in my hands and kissed the corner of his mouth. She licked his bottom lip, to which he replied gratuitously. He slid his tongue into her mouth, massaging hers while his broad hands resumed exploring her body underneath him. She closed her eyes and her thoughts wandered to Remus, and how his touch felt in the brief moments when he would gently place a hand on her back, or take her in his embrace. He was lankier than Sirius, but taller and with even larger hands… She wondered what his weight would feel like over her. She imagined him being so much gentler, that his intense hazel eyes would bore into hers when he made love to her.

If I ever had the chance, would it be everything I dreamed it would be?

* * *

The heavy rainpour that evening should have relieved the hot humidity in the air, rather it only seemed to intensify it. It was absolutely miserable waiting to board the train exposed to the elements. Even the powerful petrichor that emanated from the earth seemed to make her feel faint. Students around Hogsmeade station were huddled around umbrellas, chatting idly over the pitter patter of rainfall. Lucinda, Tate and Meihua were standing close to the wall of the station, guarded from the rain underneath the eaves. She had to suppress a chuckle at the sight of Lucinda and Tate, whose curly manes were horribly exacerbated by the humidity.

She watched, melancholic as the grand Hogwarts Express pulled up on its tracks. Other people's fanfare could be heard through the station upon the sight of the train, but she was less than excited to leave Hogwarts. In many ways, it was more of a home to her than her real home. Although she was deeply grateful for everything her grandfather had done to support her since her mother's passing, she knew that no matter what she would always feel like a somewhat of a burden to him. And the next time she would be back, it would be for the last time.

She trailed her friends as they boarded the train and walked down the train's corridor looking for a free compartment, as usual avoiding the designated prefects compartment. Most of the prefects at the school were insufferable puritans to her and she still maintained that she wasn't cut out to play the part.

"Here we are!" Tate exclaimed as he slid the door open of the first empty compartment we saw. He took no time getting settled in and jumped into a seat, shrugging off his robes and using them as a pillow. Lucinda and Meihua assumed the opposite seat as the former was being used as Tate's bed.

"If anyone tries to come in, just tell them to bugger off... I'm sleeping."

Lucinda pulled a book from her woven sack and immediately immersed herself in a well loved anthology of poetry. Meihua decided to take out her cotton wool and knitting needles from her floral cloth sack and resume making her lace knit sweater which she had been slowly working on all year, despite only being halfway done. Her arms felt heavy though, and she rested her head against the seat as the train began to move. Her eyes were beginning to close listening to the sound of the train moving on the tracks.

That is until she heard the sound of the compartment door slide open, with a certain Remus Lupin poking his head through the door. He smiled handsomely. He looked tired, more so than usual and she wondered for a moment if he fell ill.

"Sorry to interrupt, but can I borrow Meihua for a moment?"

"I don't know if you're interrupting anything…" Lucinda smiled. Though she didn't seem to have the patience for the Marauders, she was always kind to Remus. "Just a couple of grannies knitting and sleeping the day away."

Meihua blushed, sticking her tongue out at her friend. "Knitting is cool! It's in style now, I'll have you know."

Tate grunted in acknowledgement. Meihua set the bamboo needles down carefully as to not lose any stitches and stepped out of the compartment with Remus. She had no idea what he wanted to talk about, but she didn't let herself overthink things too much before he had a chance to open his mouth.

"You didn't think I'd let you escape the prefects' compartment this time, did you? Come on now," he said, scooting her along. "Just come for at least a few minutes, it's not as bad as you think."

"Oh great…" she groaned. "Can I go back to get my needles? I don't think I could stand being locked in a box with Lily holier-than-thou Evans and Sanctimonious Crouch Jr."

Remus laughed sarcastically. "Lily happens to be one of my good friends, and she also happens to be a brilliant witch. Give her a chance, she might surprise you."

"I suppose that's a no then…"

They walked the rest of the way in silence until they came across the prefect's compartment at the end of the train. Meihua thoughts nagged her the entire way and she hoped he didn't take her words too seriously. She had a tendency to talk without thinking so much that even she'd learned to tune herself out. She stopped him before he had to chance to slide open the doors, placing a hand on his forearm.

"Are you feeling quite alright?" she asked. He gave her a confused look so she continued. "Well, it's just that you seem a bit off today and you don't look 100%."

He smiled sincerely. "You don't need to worry about me. I'm fine, only a bit tired from school. That's all."

Usually the words "I'm fine" together in a sentence indicate that the person is, indeed, not fine. But she chose to let it go, after all she didn't think most boys played those types of games. He slid the door open and gestured for her to enter first. She walked in, taking a look around - there sat Lily Evans, Bartemius Crouch, Dirk Cresswell, and Emma Vanity. All people she had been somehow acquainted with but never cared to really talk to. Even when Barty briefly dated Lucinda, she did not care to get to know him. She was beginning to wonder, if Remus could stand these people and he was such a gentle and kind person, was there something wrong with her? Perhaps I'm just not as good a person as he is and that's why I admire him so much.

"Hello." She tried her best to smile warmly at them, though she looked more like a rabid dog baring its fangs.

Lily Evans, probably the only one to smile back at her, replied, "Hello, Meihua! It's nice to see you here."

Perhaps I really have misjudged her seeing as how she's the friendliest person in the room…

Others muttered their hellos or nodded in acknowledgement. Lily scooted next to the window, allowing Remus and Meihua to sit with her side by side. Meihua tried to keep a straight face though she couldn't help but think about how his leg was pressed up against hers due to the tight space.

"So, how is your friend Lucinda? I haven't spoken to her it seems like all year." Barty certainly wasted no time in getting to pressing matters.

"Don't you have a class together?" Meihua asked skeptically.

Barty scoffed. "You would think so. I have a feeling she's been avoiding me for some reason since we fell out. It would be nice if we could remain friends."

Yeah, right. You just want to bone her.

"Maybe you could have a word with her for me. I would hate if something I did caused her to harbour any ill will towards me."

If Barty knew anything about females, he would know that they talk. He would know that Meihua knew all about his incessant letters he wrote Lucinda over the previous summer and that they had a good laugh over it. Lucinda was a beautiful pureblood witch which of course made her the subject of his affection, but he perhaps didn't anticipate such a soft spoken girl to be as headstrong as she was.

"I could try," she lied swiftly, adding, "but if I know anything about her M.O., it would mean so much more coming from you."

She could almost feel Lily and Remus suppressing their grins beside her. The group of prefects fell into useless small talk about their plans for the summer and whatnot over the next little while. Meihua hoped in vain her friends would at some point attempt to rescue her after watching some prefects filtering in and out during the trip, though it seemed less likely as time went on.

"Where do you live, Meihua?" Lily asked her at one point.

"I live in the East End in London," Meihua answered vaguely.

"That must be so nice! I live in Cokeworth, it's awfully boring. I would love to live in London."

"Well, it's London. As long as you don't open the door for anyone and board up all the windows, you might be safe." She laughed. "I'd prefer to be at boring old Hogwarts, to be honest."

"Maybe we could hang out this summer! My family usually goes to the theatre when the season begins, so I'll owl you if I'm going to be around."

"Um, sure…"

Lily took out a piece of parchment and muggle pen, inviting the other girl to write down her address. Meihua scribbled it down before handing it back to her, though she secretly hoped it would get lost on the way home. She wanted to ask Remus where he lived. She imagined him living in a cute little cottage style home with loving parents.

It wouldn't be difficult to ask, after all… "Where do you live, Remus?"

"We live a little ways outside of Bibury, it's quite boring as well, I'm afraid." He smiled.

"Seems lovely, actually…"

"I thought you lived closer to Lacock," Lily said.

Remus stiffed up slightly. "Erm, yeah that was up to third year. We moved for my father's work. He works for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures."

Meihua's lips parted, impressed. She knew a kind, smart boy like Remus must have come from a well to-do family. She was brought out of her thoughts by the sound of words coming from Barty's mouth.

"What do your parents do, Meihua?"

"My mum is dead," she said bluntly. "My father is, well, God knows where. I actually live with my granddad."

"Sorry to hear," Barty looked up from his newspaper to say this, offering a contrite smile that Meihua didn't accept to be genuine. She wasn't sure he had a genuine bone in his body.

"No need, I'm quite alright, actually."

"Is he a wizard?" Remus asked. He sensed the tension in the room and changed the subject before he would live to regret bringing her there, he was all too familiar with how she could get hot tempered at times.

"No, farthest thing from it. He hates magic actually, he's too old and set in his ways."

"I can empathize a bit with that," Lily snorted. "My family are muggles and quite brilliant, but my sister doesn't really… understand.

If Meihua wasn't trying to be a better person, she would have rolled her eyes at the notion that her and Lily Evans had anything in common. Instead she offered a smile pleasant enough and carried on in conversation mostly with her and Remus until they all arrived in London.

When the train had finally arrived at King's Cross Station, Meihua was elated. Although it may have been difficult to watch others being greeted by their ecstatic and teary-eyed families as she heaved her trunk alone, she tried to look on the bright side of things. After all, she had so much to be thankful for.


	4. Another Scene They Can't Erase

Meihua's alarm clock disrupted her slumber that morning with its incessant caterwauling. She rolled over in a mess of her own hair to see the time. _6:07 A.M._ She smacked the machine until it ceased buzzing then tried in vain to go back to sleep for a few minutes, holding a downy pillow over her head to protect from the light spilling in from the window. The sun had already begun to rise in the east. Her tiny room at home was converted from the old den, only just big enough for a single bed with a nightstand beside it. There wasn't a lot of room to move around, but the great thing about it was that the front wall had a tall window that opened up to a Juliette balcony with a view of the street below. She drew back the linen curtains and cranked the window open before rummaging through the drawer in the nightstand, pulling out her emergency box of cigarettes. She knew her grandfather hated her smoking (which she previously took up after her little rebellious stage when her mother died) but what he didn't know couldn't hurt him. Lucky Strike cigarettes were her mom's favourite, and it became a favourite for her as well. She fumbled clumsily with the lighter before she took a long drag, careful to exhale out of the window to minimize the smell.

The city was still mostly quiet at this hour. There were only a few people walking down the street for early morning coffee before work or doing their walks of shame. The pigeons there were nothing short of fearless when it came to people, though she wondered as she watched silently if it was because they were brave or simply absent-minded. All of sudden, she could hear her grandfather hitting the roof with his wooden broomstick below.

 _THUMP._

" _Qi chuang le!_ "

 _THUMP._

" _QI CHUANG LE!_ "

She groaned. _Well, now I am awake._ She stomped on the floor boards with all her might in retaliation. It wasn't worth it, though, when she heard him begin cursing in Chinese. She didn't know how the little old man had so much energy first thing in the morning. She was reminded of a phrase her mother always used to say, the river's waves behind drive the waves ahead.

She scrunched her nose and threw the mess of hair into a lazy top bun before dragging her feet to the washroom. She had turned the water as cold as she could stand it in hopes that she might then be able to brave another long, hot day in the shop without any air conditioning. Afterwards, she slipped on a white, billowing linen dress and stepped into her red embroidered slippers. She ran a comb through her wet hair before she hurried down the stairs which led to the shop.

"Good morning, ye-ye…"

There was a steaming black coffee and a sweet red bean bun waiting for her on the counter. Her stomach growled in anticipation for her favourite breakfast, one which she never got to enjoy at Hogwarts. It had been a long month since she got off school, mostly filled with long shifts at the shop and waiting for letters which only came every so often. She had been surprised to receive an owl from Sirius one evening, making her wonder if he felt as lonely as she did. She didn't know much about his home life, other than that his parents were elitist purebloods who didn't really approve of him since he was sorted into Gryffindor and didn't follow their values. Her grandfather on the other hand put a lot of pressure on her to get good notes, but she managed to get him off her back by writing a fake letter from Hogwarts with near perfect marks complete with fake Hogwarts letterhead. She only hadn't anticipated getting yelled at for not getting _actual_ perfect fake marks.

Her grandfather, Tian, a short balding man who walked with a cane, was quite a cheerful man for the most part save being quite stern when it came to her education. It was fortunate for her he knew little about the wizarding world. Her mother dropped out of high school when she was young and pregnant, and he never let Meihua forget how hard she had to work because of it. He looked quite old even for his age and had his share of health concerns, and she wondered if it was due, at least in part, to the stress he must have endured because of her.

"Okay Meihua, I have to go to the doctor today…" he said as he completed setting up the register for the day. "I leave now, but you behave while I'm gone. Remember what I tell you about the upsell."

"Yes, yes, I know, ye-ye," she shooed him out the door, thankful to have a moment to breathe without him staring down her neck. "Thank you for the bun! I love you!"

She sighed after she heard the doorbell ring as he left. She took a big bite out of the pastry, savouring the sweet paste filling. During off peak hours, there wasn't really a lot to do. She was advised to clean or do inventory during these times, but with no one around to remind her, she thought she might cut herself some slack for once. After she finished her bun in haste and downed a large sip of coffee almost too hot to handle, she withdrew another cigarette and left the shop door open while she smoked, trying to wake herself up.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

Meihua whipped her head around and saw Lucinda and her little brother Arthur standing nearby. She quickly stomped out the cigarette and smiled meekly at them. Lucinda looked quite darling that day in a light rose A-line dress and blue suede wedges, with her ringlets pinned behind her heart shaped face and a hint of rouge played upon her cheeks.

"Nothing!" she sang. "Hullo Lucinda, Arthur. I wasn't expecting you lot to show up out of the blue."

Lucinda scrunched her nose. "Ugh, you _reek_. How did you even get those?"

Meihua gave her an incredulous stare gesturing to the open door. "Seriously?"

"Nevermind, I just hope that's not going to be your thing now."

She followed them into the shop. Arthur, who just turned 11, was going to be joining them at Hogwarts in the fall. He was a darling little boy with his sister's bouncy golden curls and wide brown eyes framed by impossibly long eyelashes. Meihua always secretly thought he would make a beautiful girl, and she wondered then if they used to look that small when they started Hogwarts.

"So your family owns this shop?" Arthur squeaked.

"Well, yes, it's owned by my grandfather. We live in the flat upstairs."

"Oh…"

Lucinda looked like a small child in a candy store (albeit there did happen to be quite a lot of candy in the store…) scanning the items on the walls and examining those that caught her eye. She seemed particularly interested in the large variety of chocolate bars on one shelf.

"What kind of shop is this, anyway?" Arthur inquired.

"I _told_ you, it's a convenience shop," Lucinda told her brother. "Muggles come here to buy convenient things."

"Or rather, regular things they can't find anywhere else past midnight…" Meihua leaned against the front counter, suddenly unsure of what to do with her hands.

"Right, that's what I said," Lucinda said. "Where's old granddady then?"

"He's at his doctor's," Meihua answered, adding, "Or rather, a practitioner of Traditional Chinese Medicine. He's old and stuck in his ways and won't see a real doctor for his health. I'm telling you it will kill him."

"I suppose it's not a good time to bring up a certain Barty Crouch Jr., then?" She raised an eyebrow. "Not trying to be horrible. He owled me that you two had a chat about _us_ and where things were going."

Arthur suddenly pretended to be particularly engrossed in a can of beans, picking it up and reading the label.

"Huh? Oh… Oh. No, he was wondering why you were speaking to him anymore. I told him he'd be better of speaking to you directly, and by that I didn't mean harassing you by owl all over again… Sorry 'bout that." Meihua chuckled awkwardly. "But to be fair, you never came to rescue me from the prefects' compartment."

Lucinda glared at her friend across the shop.

"Maybe it's not all bad. I mean, your kids will look creepy but they'll be incredibly smart."

"Which brings us to the reason we both came today…" Lucinda paused and took a deep breath before saying the next part all in one breath, "I agreed to see him today if only he agreed to never talk to me or look in my direction again for the last time, once and for all."

"..Huh?"

"My parents wouldn't let me go into the city alone, so you'll be watching Arthur until I get back," she explained quickly. "But don't worry, this means I'm forgiving you."

"Right…"

Lucinda jumped up and kissed her cheek before fleeing out the door. Meihua's stomach sank as the clicking of her friend's heels quickly disappeared, registering the fact that her friend finally came to visit her only to ditch her with her little brother. And all to see that slimy Smarty-pants Barty. She chanced a gander at Arthur, who was awkwardly leaning back and forth on the balls of his feet. Though they had been acquainted plenty of times before, she didn't really know him and she wasn't sure how to break the ice since she didn't know a lot about the interests of 11 year old boys.

"Do you drink coffee or tea or anything?"

He simply shook his head no. _Great._ "Okay, er… Just sit there and don't break anything while I take care of important business things pertaining to the shop."

Meihua reached behind the counter and shoved all of the various stacks of paperwork on top and pretended as if they were the most interesting papers in the world until a customer arrived.

* * *

"So you reckon they'll be back together again?" Arthur spoke up at one point in the afternoon. Meihua had lent him some of her old comic books, to which he was disappointed at the fact that all the illustrations were stationary. Her grandfather had returned home before Lucinda as predicted, but soon retired to his bed rest as he couldn't stand too much longer. The nice weather had already turned by that point, leaving behind dark clouds and showers in place of the dry sun that had greeted the morning.

"Well, I'm not going to lie to you, Arthur." Meihua looked over the day's paper to him. "I think I've had nightmares about this. You might not know Barty, but he's no prize and your sister could stand to do a lot better than him."

Arthur simply shrugged. "I dunno, she must find something appealing about him."

"Well, I'm racking my brains..." she grunted.

She loved Lucinda dearly, but she didn't want to be unduly protective of her if she truly wanted to give the git a second chance for whatever reasons which were beyond her comprehension. She only wondered why Lucinda hadn't said a word to her if she _did_ feel that way; and if she didn't, why would she even agree to see him at all. It all seemed a bit out of character for her, at least to Meihua - which caused her to ponder the fact that she may, indeed, have had her head up her own arse this entire time. After all, her supposed best friend hadn't visited her once all summer except on her way to see this bloke.

Though she didn't have a chance to lament too deeply before hearing the door chime. Lucinda came in, drenched in rain and panting from her sprint. It wasn't the sight of her that came as a surprise, but who accompanied her. There was Sirius Black, his black hair in a wet tangled mess and soaked clothes sticking to his body. He looked ill, with eyes sunken in and skin as white as a sheet. Despite this, he greeted Meihua with a thin smile.

"Do you think there's a possibility I could stay here tonight?"

* * *

"So… what are you saying? Why do you come here? Why can't you stay with your own family?"

The old man sat at the end of the table, rubbing his temples. He wasn't overjoyed to see that he had so much company at no notice at all, but insisted everyone at least stay for dinner. They all sat huddled around the small table which was normally just meant for the family of two, a couple chairs borrowed the shop and the sitting room. Meihua took the initiative of setting up the hot plate on the table, which consisted of a simmering broth surrounded by various dishes of raw vegetables and meat to be cooked in it.

Sirius was having an especially difficult time with the chopsticks, even after Meihua tried demonstrating it to him several times. He kept dropping his food into his bowl before finally piercing it with the chopsticks. She decided to let him figure out the etiquette on his own if her grandfather wanted to yell at him. Arthur, on the other hand, had gotten the hang of it after a few tries and she hadn't had to worry about Lucinda after teaching her last summer. Lucinda poked and prodded at her food idly, not eating very eagerly. Though Meihua wanted to ask her how her rendezvous with Barty went so badly, she knew then was not the time. Not with so many people around, and not with Sirius' matters being more dire. Even the tension in the room was reason enough for her to keep her mouth shut.

"Well, you see…" Sirius spoke slowly. "My family kicked me out. So now I am homeless. If you'll have me for one night, it would be much appreciated. Then I'll be out of your hair."

Tian grunted in response. "I take out a bed for you in the living room. You don't go into Meihua's room."

Sirius beamed, showcasing a wide grin of immaculate white teeth. "Thank you very much, sir. I am very grateful for your generosity."

Meihua felt a weight being lifted off her shoulders at her grandfather's words. She knew he was a fair man, but of course she was worried about the possibility of him shooting down the idea entirely without even hearing Sirius out. Tian was still not the type of man to jump at the opportunity at a 15 year old boy sleeping under the same roof as his granddaughter.

"So…" Meihua began awkwardly. "Your parents just… kicked you out? I mean, I'm so sorry - I just… I had no idea things were that bad."

"Yes," Sirius said darkly. "You don't have any idea."

His tone stunned her. They continued to eat in an uncomfortable silence for a moment. The only sounds came from the stainless steel chopsticks against the ceramic and the simmering broth on the hot plate. Sirius certainly looked worse for the wear, and it appeared that he had gotten into some kind of physical altercation whilst at home with dark welts materializing on the surface of his skin. Meihua wanted to ask him what really happened, but thought that might be best done in private. After all, everyone could see the evidence of abuse on his face and no one said a word then.

Tian sighed, bowing his head. "It is not right. Family should not abandon each other, no matter how much you disgrace them. When Meihua mother fall pregnant, I was so angry but I always gave her all the support I could."

"Well, they aren't really my family anymore. My friends are my family. After tomorrow morning, I will be living with James and his family," Sirius explained calmly.

It was remarkable how he could carry such a calm disposition after whatever took place, and for how long his problems at home had gone on. He never showed any real signs at school other than a dislike for his family, but Meihua knew then that that proved nothing. There was a lot about him that she didn't know, and she was beginning to wonder if she ever really knew him at all. She thought they had actually grown close to one another, but it seemed nowhere near close enough for him to confide in her.

"Where is your father, Meihua?" Arthur tried to change the subject casually.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. She knew Arthur was sincere, he couldn't have possibly known he was about to open a whole other can of worms by bringing that up. "I've never seen him in my life, and I don't care to."

"Haven't you ever been curious?" Arthur asked after a long pause. She could see Lucinda kick him under the table, less than discreetly so since she was sure everyone at table could hear. Still she waved a hand dismissively.

"No, honestly. I don't care to ever meet him." She took another bite of cabbage, chewing thoughtfully. She tried not to sound short with him, or seem like she was lying. "Afterall, I can't really be disappointed by someone I've never met, can I?"

"Meihua doesn't need a father. She has all the family she needs right here." Lucinda smiled warmly. She fumbled around with a slice of lotus root, examining its peculiar shape before taking a bite only to find that it wasn't cooked all the way through. She swallowed it anyway, not wanting to seem rude or draw attention to herself by spitting it out.

Meihua poured more water into the stock which had at that point boiled down to the bottom of the pot. The only one still eating was her grandfather, who chewed heartily on watercress. Despite not having eaten much that day, Meihua's appetite couldn't be stimulated even by the large assortment of fresh foods.

"Erm, how are James and the others? Are they well?" Lucinda asked Sirius, who at that point was fidgeting with the tablecloth.

"James is doing just fine. We've been in touch of course, but I haven't spoken much to Remus or Peter yet. I didn't get to go out much this summer."

"Have you guys get your notes back yet? I'm mostly content with mine except for Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration…" said Lucinda.

"Meihua has perfect marks this year," Tian said, causing everyone else at the table to look at each other curiously. "She is a hard worker in school. I always taught her that school is most important."

Meihua decided to shift the topic in another direction before anyone felt like being gobby. "I bet Remus had better notes than me, he's always got his nose in a textbook, hasn't he? Does he know what he wants to do after Hogwarts?"

Tian brought his bowl to his lips, tilting his head back to finish the broth. He stood up abruptly and left the room. Now that the most senior person at the table had finally finished eating, it was Meihua's queue to clean up. She sat up suddenly, banging her knee on the table by accident. She hastily gathered up the dishes to take into the kitchen. Sirius got up to follow.

"Let me help you."

"No! That's-..." she paused, suddenly getting the hint that he may have wanted to speak to her alone. "Actually, yes, that would be a great help."

He picked up the rest of the dishes and followed her into the kitchen, which was really just a narrow room off of the sitting room. She opened up the dishwasher and began to sort through the utensils and bowls.

"What the-" Sirius curiously examined the muggle mechanical device and she realised he had probably never seen one before.

"Er, just give them here." She took the dishes from him and demonstrated how to place them in the appropriate racks. "It's called a dishwasher. It's so you don't have to wash them by hand, even without magic."

Sirius looked astonished. "So how does it work exactly?"

"Well, don't ask me…" She laughed. "I'm not a ruddy engineer. I just put in the soap and press the big button that makes it start."

"Amazing…" Sirius trailed off. "I would have never guessed that you lived in a place like this, even though I knew you were muggleborn."

"Yeah… I know, we don't have a lot," she snorted. Her face felt hot from embarrassment. She knew the Black family came from money, and that he couldn't have possibly be impressed by their setup. "It's not exactly home, is it?"

"That's not what I meant…Well, not really what I meant." Sirius paused, trying to find his words. "I like it here. It's cozy and comfortable. It's a lot better than my home. I could certainly get used to living in a place like this."

"Er, not that we wouldn't love to have you… but I don't think my grandfather would actually love to have you. I'm surprised he's even let you stay for one night."

"I meant in a place where I can actually breathe," Sirius looked straight into my eyes. "Without having to worry about my bigot family or stepping a toe out of line."

"I see…" Unable to stand his intense stare, she averted her eyes to the ground. His feet were standing close to hers in the cramped space. She didn't want to say something wrong, but she couldn't afford to not say anything at all. "Can you tell me… What happened exactly?"

Sirius scoffed. "My parents disowned me, what else? I don't think highly of dark magic or their precious pureblood ideology. They couldn't possibly have a son like me sullying their good name. They aren't good people. They aren't the sort who might hesitate to practice Unforgivable Curses on their own flesh and blood."

Suddenly, she felt her eyes sting and her eyelashes felt wet. It had been too difficult for her to see Sirius like this. His showing up out of nowhere looking as if he had just been pulverized was too much for her to bear. If she were as brave as he was, she might have pried, but she knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. She loved him in her own way, even if that way was selfish and deranged at times. "Why didn't you tell me things were this bad, ever?"

She brought a hand up to his chest, against the scratchy wool of his sweater which had long since dried since he first came into the shop several hours ago. She felt so pathetic crying in front of him. After all, the person who actually was in dire circumstances, the one who had reason to cry had to comfort her. He simply brought her closer to his chest in a tight embrace, so tight that she thought she might break.

"What happened to your mother, Mei?"

"..Huh?" Meihua blinked.

"How did she die?"

"Oh, um… She died in a car crash when I was 12."

"I'm sorry. You love her very much, don't you?"

"Yes." She dried her eyes with the back of my hand. "But I'm not sad about it. Those who we love are always with us so long as we keep them alive in our memories. I think that... If you had had the chance to meet her, you two would have got on well, actually."

He kissed the top of her head and ran his fingers through her hair mindlessly. They stood there for a moment in silence filled by the humming and whirring of the dishwasher. She wanted to ask Sirius what led him here, to the tiny flat in the East End of London instead of immediately going to the Potters'. There were a thousand questions she wanted to ask Sirius in that moment that she couldn't articulate, but it didn't matter. With her head against his chest, she could hear his heartbeat speak to her steadily, soothingly. As if to tell her not to worry, that everything would be fine in the end.

"I wasn't thinking when I came here, obviously… I dunno. I just needed to see you."

She wasn't sure how long they stood there like that exactly, but the moment was interrupted suddenly by the sound of her grandfather pounding his cane on the ground and shouting for them to get a move on. She felt her face flush even a few shades darker, and though she wanted to just bury her face deeper in Sirius's chest she knew that meant they had to return to the sitting room before her grandfather walked in on them and kicked Sirius out on the vermin filled streets of London. Of course he had no idea they were together in any sense and she imagined he'd be furious if he knew. He didn't approve of her dating yet, and in his eyes she was still just his baby grandchild. She thought that on some level he saw her late mother in her and didn't want her to make the same mistakes she did.

* * *

Lucinda and Arthur went home shortly after dinner, citing something about a curfew, without giving Meihua much of a chance to speak with her friend candidly. She supposed she would have to patiently await her owl for a chance to learn the details of Lucinda's rendezvous with that clown. It was hard for her to believe that, though technically they lived in the same city, they never really saw each other that summer at all.

Long after everyone left and her grandfather retired to his bedroom for the night, Meihua snuck out of her room to see Sirius. She tiptoed past her grandfather's door, still open a crack but was reassured by the usual heavy snoring filtering through the room. Sirius was still awake, sitting on the thick quilt that Tian had earlier laid out on the ground. He was no longer wearing a shirt and Meihua tried not to let her eyes wander too much. The light scars that littered his chest bore the testimony of abuse. Despite trying her best to tiptoe across the room, the ancient hardwood planks creaked loudly underneath her. He whipped his head around at the sound, but relaxed and smiled upon the sight of her. The moonlight pouring in from window seemed to dance across his features at the slightest movement, illuminating his deep grey eyes. His dark curly hair had become slightly wild in the humidity. She kneeled down on the quilt beside him.

"I thought you might still be awake," she whispered. "Do you want to see my room?"

"But of course." He kissed the top of her head first, then her forehead before he found his way to her dry lips. A quick peck was all it took to wake her up, a shock of electricity that spread from her lips to the tips of her fingers and toes and left her wanting more. He stood up, taking her small hand in his and walked her to her bedroom. She watched him carefully as he scanned the room, examining his reaction. Being in the city, it never was quiet with the sounds of passing cars, sirens and the occasional shouting debauchee in the middle of the night.

She sat at the foot of the bed and he joined her there, sitting side by side on the narrow bed.

"How come you don't have any posters or anything?" Sirius chuckled. "I imagined your room being a lot less boring."

She shrugged. "Too busy. I can't sleep at night if I feel like people are looking at me."

"Okay…" Sirius rolled his eyes and pointed to the photo of her mother on my nightstand. It was a tiny photo which could fit in someone's wallet, fit into a small brass frame. "What about her?"

"That's my mum."

"Wow. She looks fit."

She punched Sirius in the arm playfully. Her mother looked quite a bit like her, except for the fact that she was much taller and had stunning curves. She hoped at one point she would inherit them from her, but it seemed to instead only be the subject of her envy. The mother wore her hair in a short bob in the photo, as she always did, her fringe pinned back with the same silver clip that Meihua always wore. She smiled with her whole face, especially her oblique black eyes.

"I see where you get it from now." Sirius leaned in to whisper in her ear. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up from his hot breath.

"You didn't think I got my looks from Ye-ye, did you?"

Sirius stifled his own laughter before gently pushing her back down on the bed by her shoulders. He swiftly climbed on top of her and planted little kisses up and down her neck. Having their bodies so close was probably the worst they could do for the humid heat in the confined space, sweat sticking to clothes between them. They tried our best to be quiet over the old, noisy springs which creaked at any movement but that proved less than successful. Before long, Sirius's hands were roaming over each bend and curve of her body, coming into contact with erogenous zones she hadn't known even existed. It was all she could do to be silent under the tips of his fingers as they grazed her breasts over the thin fabric of her camisole. She reacted to him immediately, involuntarily bucking at her hips. He winced slightly and she wondered if they should stop, if it was too soon for him to be physical after whatever came to pass at his house. He didn't stop even for a moment, however, and held her hips down with a firm grip as he moved his mouth down to her chest. He teasingly nipped at her breasts through my shirt and she had to cover her mouth with her hand to keep silent.

Although they had established one clear boundary before the end of school, they still hadn't quite established how far we could go before we crossed the line into dangerous territory. He moved his mouth back up to her neck, biting and kissing whilst caressing the sensitive underside of her breasts with his fingertips. If she was capable of one coherent thought, she may have just pushed him away right then before she allowed herself to get carried away.

It was probably the first time since they got together that her mind hadn't wandered immediately elsewhere, already full of anxieties, fears, questions. She willed her mind to be empty and that the intimacy between them would save her peace of mind. In his own mind, Sirius was there with her, in the tiny room between her breasts and her thighs and ready to throw away all abandon.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Hey there, I apologize for the time since I've last updated. My husband surprised me with a family vacation, which was lovely.**

 **I hope this long chapter makes up for it, and as usual I'd love for you to drop a line or two.**


	5. Surprise Encounters

Meihua didn't have to wait long for Lucinda's owl, which arrived promptly the morning after. The tawny owl tapped on the window incessantly, perched on the steel rail of the Juliette balcony. She cracked the window open to allow it to fly in. The owl bounced off the walls noisily in the cramped space before finally settling down on the bed with the letter. She untied the letter from it's leg and saw Lucinda's red wax seal with the Carew family emblem. Hastily, she ripped open the envelope and began to read its contents.

 _Dear Meihua,_

 _I suppose I owe you an apology. We haven't really had a chance to talk yesterday. In my defense, I was not expecting Sirius to be in attendance. I don't think any of us were, especially not in the state he was in. I hope things went alright after we left that night. I wasn't sure what to do or say, but I hope that at least you were of some comfort to him. I regret that I always thought of him as a cheeky berk, you would have no idea by how he acts at school what kind of home life he must have. Did you?_

 _I know you're probably dying to ask me what happened with Barty, but to be completely honest I'd rather not talk about it in writing. It's not that there even_ is _anything to speak of, other than to say it's a lost cause and I was a fool to think my words would penetrate his thick skull. I guess we'll have something to talk about next time I see you in person. I'd probably be wise to take my mother's advice when she says to never put anything in writing._

 _Have you heard from Tate? He's gone absolutely nutters from boredom at home in Scotland. I think he's been writing me every other day and I'm honestly running out of things to talk about with him. I also regret that we haven't seen each other much this summer. I have been quite busy at my mother's apothecary, mostly with mundane tasks I'm afraid. She still doesn't trust me anywhere near a cauldron, which is infuriating considering I have more than proved my competence at Potions in school. I was thinking that we should have a get together sometime before the summer is out. It shouldn't be a problem for you to convince your granddad since you've performed so well in school, right?_

 _Lots of love,_

 _Lucinda Carew_

She sighed upon setting down the letter, and took out her spiral notebook and fountain pen which were what she used to write when she was home. She tapped the back of the pen against the paper, thinking of what to write back for a moment. It was damn near impossible to think with that owl watching her every moment.

 _Dear Lucinda,_

 _Thank you for writing so soon. Yesterday was bizarre, wasn't it?_

She groaned and crumpled the paper up in a ball, tossing it against the wall. _It's no good. Not sincere in the slightest._

Sirius had left early in the morning before she had a chance to wake, leaving behind his familiar scent on the sheets and a note on the bedside table. They had fallen asleep together in her bed, although she wasn't quite sure how or when. She had a suspicion that we wouldn't likely meet again under similar circumstances, and his note that wished her well until they met again was meant for the following academic year.

The owl trilled menacingly. Meihua wasn't sure what it wanted, she had nothing to offer it in return so she simply tried to ignore it as she continued to write.

 _Dear Lucinda,_

 _Perhaps you're right about needing to discuss things in person rather than in writing. We do have a lot of catch up on, but I've never been much of a pen pal, have I?_

 _It seems Tate hasn't yet learned how to animate a boulder to be his friend. Perhaps we really ought to have a party, it would be a great way to blow off some steam after last year's pandemonium._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Meihua Xu_

 _P.S. I miss you._

She read over the letter several times, criticising the few words she could manage. There wasn't much more she felt she could say, she was never good with words. She folded the paper up as neatly as she could manage and stuffed it back into Lucinda's original envelope.

"Okay, c'mere now…" She tried coaxing the owl, slowly approaching it to attach the envelope to its leg. The owl flew away and bumped into the opposite wall, falling onto the ground. She took this opportunity to attempt to tackle the creature before the door whipped open abruptly.

"Meihua!" Tian shouted, looking flabbergasted with his thick black eyebrows shooting past where his hairline once was. "What is this! No owl in our house!"

He trotted over with his cane and opened the window to let the owl outside. "Go now!"

" _Ye-ye!"_ she whined. "I almost had him, and now Lucinda won't get my letter!"

He slowly backed himself up to sit on the bed. "No more owls in the house, Meihua. I'm sorry but I don't appreciate too much magic in our house…"

"I know."

"I need you to go to the store and pick up some ingredients, ok?" He handed her a list on a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. "Ginseng. Jujube dates. Dried goji berry. Dried seahorse powder. Don't forget now. Don't take too long so you can help me do an inventory today."

"Maybe I could have the day off then." She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. "Then I could go to Diagon Alley to pick up my school supplies."

Tian paused in thought for a moment before heaving himself back up on his cane with great pains. "Okay, good idea. Take my wallet but try to spend very little."

She nodded quickly, grinning from ear to ear. She ran ahead of him and jumped down the stairs before he had a chance to change his mind.

* * *

Still donning muggle clothing, she went straight into Diagon Alley. She decided to visit the old Chinatown for her grandpa's medicine on the way home. She had a few things on her own list after she finished exchanging some muggle money at Gringotts, including visiting a secondhand bookstore and collecting a few other supplies before visiting Lucinda at her mother's apothecary.

Wizards and witches gave curious stares at her as she passed them, which she assumed had to be due to her outfit which consisted of a high waisted denim skirt and tank top, paired with platform sneakers. She rolled her eyes at this, wondering how some people could go on wearing full wizard's robes in this heat. Her thick black hair over her shoulders only exacerbated the heat for her as it seemed to absorb the sun's rays beating down, making her feel miserable and light headed. On her way down the cobblestoned road, she suddenly felt a hand grasp her shoulder and felt a bubble of panic in her chest. She whipped her head around.

"Meihua?" It was Remus Lupin. He seemed to grow even taller already, and she wondered what his parents were feeding him at home. He looked healthier than ever with a slight tan and his hair lighter from the sunlight. He wore a white button down shirt with dark pants and shoes, and she couldn't help but note that he looked especially nice, and broad in the shoulders. His arms were full of various bags filled with supplies for school.

She turned to face him fully, smiling and panting slightly. "Wow, you gave me a little fright for a moment. Don't sneak up on me, okay?"

He chuckled. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Do I intimidate you?"

"Oh, please… I just didn't want you to get hurt if I thought you were a grabber. I got a P in Defense Against the Dark Arts, I'll have you know."

"A grabber?!" Remus laughed incredulously at her.

"Yeah, you know - a groper, a letcher. People say that."

"Maybe… You look very nice today." He gave her an irresistible smile. Though he still wore light scars across his face, one might not be able to tell when he smiled. It illuminated his entire face and drew all the attention off his complexion.

She blushed though tried to act casually. "Thank you, so do you. You keep growing though and I can't seem to keep up with you."

"So you agree? You think you look nice?" Remus teased.

"Wha- Hey!" She playfully punched his arm, although it didn't seem to phase him at all.

"Listen, I'm glad we ran into each other today…" Remus stuffed his free hand into his pocket, and there was a pregnant pause. "Of course, I know what's happened with Sirius and that he spent a night at yours… I'm really glad you were there for him. Even if he doesn't say it, I can tell you mean a lot to him."

Her heart suddenly sank. The mere mentioning of Sirius made her stomach turn for some reason, as if she had a reason to feel guilty. Seeing Remus that day resurfaced so many feelings she tried to forget and bury deep in her mind, she had forgotten about Sirius if only for a moment in time. She wasn't sure why she felt guilty in the first place; was it because she fancied his best friend or because her desires loomed larger in her mind than his plight?

"Yeah," she said, her voice coming out much smaller than she intended. "It's no problem."

He rested his hand gently on her shoulder this time. "Is everything alright?"

"O-of course! Well I'm sad Sirius is going through this, of course, and I had no idea things were bad for him at home before then. I feel horrible he couldn't confide in me and I don't know what to do-" She would have kept rambling on if Remus didn't interrupt her.

"If you feel guilty about any of this, it isn't your fault. Sirius is strong and brave, but he often tries to bear the brunt of things so we don't have to. The most we can do for him now is try to be there for him."

She simply sighed in response. In his eyes, she could see the hint of his own personal demons hiding beneath the surface as well. She wondered if he did the same. "How come you're so damn wise? Is it all those books?"

He smiled thinly. "You should come to a party James is having at his house on the weekend. The whole gang will be in attendance, obviously that includes Sirius… I think he'd like to see you."

"Can you really just invite me like that? I wouldn't want to intrude."

"Aren't you his _girlfriend_?" Remus asked skeptically. "Besides, I'll let him know so at the very least you won't be an unexpected guest. That'd be awfully _rude_ , wouldn't it?"

She snorted. "Yeah… We'll see what my grandfather says."

"Nonsense. If he says no, you can always sneak out, can't you?" Remus grinned slyly.

"Hmm, a prefect who condones maleficence… What does that remind me of?"

"We're not prefects while we aren't at school, love."

"True…" She turned to resume walking down the path. "I'm going to the second hand bookstore, are you coming with me?"

"Sure, I was planning on seeing if I could find some textbooks there anyway."

He followed her until they reached the shop, stepping in front of her to hold the door open. The small shop was lined from floor to ceiling in shelves stuffed with various tattered books, and had tall bookshelves dividing the shop into narrow aisles. She pulled the scrap of paper out of her bag.

"Well, let's see.. I'm going to need... " Hey eyes scanned the list, knowing already she would have to buy books for every subject at this shop. "A lot."

He leaned over and read the list. "I forgot you won't be taking Defense Against the Darks Arts anymore. That's too bad. We would all have been together next year."

"I didn't mention failing my OWL fifth year? I'm just going to try to avoid dangerous situations, I suppose."

He suddenly looked grim. "That's not good, Meihua. I wish you could still take it. Can't you just re-do your OWLs? It's not just important for your career prospects, it's important for the rest of your life."

"You really think I'll need it that much?" She knit her eyebrows together. "I'm sure I'll manage with the core knowledge of the subject."

"No, it's no good. I mean it." His stern look made her feel uneasy. "You must know that we're heading into dark times. You're not a foolish girl. You need to know how to defend yourself."

She sighed for what felt like the upteempth time, leaning against the bookcase to avoid his stare. "Why couldn't I have been born a squib?"

"If you will not re-take it, let me continue to teach you. It's one of my best subjects, after all."

"Are you sure?" She asked tensely. "Ask most of our professors, I'm a hopeless student…"

"Trust me," he insisted. "I have no problem with it. I tutor a lot of our classmates from time to time, we can get together after classes and I'll continue to teach you the practical course material."

"Okay… Well, if you don't mind…" Though she wanted to say no, she knew she couldn't refuse him. She felt the butterflies in her stomach explode thinking of the proposal. She imagined them spending hours together in the library or the empty grounds in the evening, practicing spells and talking. She would be so wise to say no.

His face melted back into a warm smile. "Good. I wasn't about to take no for an answer."

Her silly heart skipped a beat at his words. _Of course he's only being friendly, that's the kind of person he is - he would have done this for anyone. I wouldn't be shocked to find him tutoring Severus Snape._ The two continued their search for books, looking high and low for decent copies of the books required in their respective curriculums. Meihua eventually had to settle for a few shabby ones, which didn't really bother her. After all, all she had to do was show up with the book, she could always borrow someone else's if hers had missing pages or fell apart.

Before long they had already spent over an hour in the cramped shop and they walked out with all of their books packed away in brown paper sacks that threatened to break from the weight. Remus struggled a bit with the amount of heavy bags he now carried and could feel the indentations where they dug into his arms, but tried not to let on to Meihua. He was tired, uncharacteristically so for this time in the cycle but he couldn't put his finger on it. He looked at her perhaps a few seconds too long, seeing how the pile of books that almost towered over her head seemed too large for her small frame to handle.

He opened his mouth to offer assistance, but was interrupted a moment too soon.

"It was lucky we could find everything we needed. These books are insanely expensive retail."

"I have to go meet my father now," Remus said, forgetting his words from earlier. "It was really nice to see you. I'll owl you sometime with the time and address for the party. You still live above Lucky Convenience, right?"

"Right…" She hoped that he would have forgotten about that. "See you later, Remus."

Before she could help herself, she gave him a one-sided hug which he could only lean into. She waved and smiled sweetly before he watched her disappear in the direction of the apothecary without giving him a chance to reply. He simply smiled to himself, the scent of amber perfume lingering on his person.

* * *

"Meihua, darling!" Lucinda's mother was a bubbly, tall woman who was slender with curves like Marilyn Monroe. It wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say she looked like the late starlet with her short golden curls framing a delicate, feminine face and with her bold crimson lipstick. She wore lovely dark green robes which complimented her ivory complexion.

Her apothecary was large and impressive, decorated with intricate glass vials on the walls and greenery that flowed over the shelves. The Carews were an old wizarding family, as pureblood as they could come in modern age.

"Hello Mrs. Carew, is Lucinda here by chance?" Meihua asked politely.

"Oh yes, dear, she's just in the basement grinding up some asphodel root." She opened up the round door to the basement. " _LUCY!_ "

" _WHAT!"_

" _YOU HAVE A VISITOR!"_

Meihua cringed at the shouting but tried to appear unphased, still smiling. _How can such refined women be so loud?_ Mrs Carew turned on her heel, disappearing behind the back part of the shop. Lucinda stomped noisily up the stairs before she spotted her friend, face lighting up with a smile.

"Oh! Meihua! Did you get my letter? Mozart didn't come back with anything!" Lucinda straightened out her apron after climbing up the stairs. Her wispy ringlets were pinned back with little black clasps and she appeared quite tired with uncharacteristically dark circles around her eyes. "Set your books down already, before you topple over!"

"Oh, yeah… He kind of ran off before I could give him my response, but I didn't write anything important anyway."

"Well, you're here now!" She smiled, leaning in to hug Meihua and gave an air kiss to her cheek and setting the books on the counter for her. "How are you doing? Last night was so dreadful, I can't believe that stuff with Sirius and… Well, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"He's at the Potters now, he left before I woke. I'm sure he'll be fine…" Meihua trailed off.

The doorbell chimed, and they both turned to see a certain Barty Crouch Jr. walking into the shop. Dressed impeccably as usual, he smiled charismatically at the two of them as he walked in. Meihua clenched her jaw as she grew to understand what was going on.

"I actually have to get some things for Ye-ye in Chinatown, it's a bit far so… I best be off now."

"Wait!" Lucinda whispered harshly. "Let me explain!"

"There's no need… I better leave you two lovebirds alone, I'd hate to intrude."

Barty approached them, and acknowledged Meihua with a short nod. "Meihua. It's nice to see you, you look...well."

"Barty." She nodded back in response. She heaved the packaged books back into her arms and swiftly walked out the door before she said anything she would regret.

* * *

By the time she finally arrived back at home, the sun had begun to set and the shop had already been locked up for the night. Her arms were tired from carrying heaving bags of books and other supplies, and her legs so tired from walking she thought they might give out if she had to go on any longer.

She slumped down on her bed after pulling out her materials from her school trunk which she hid under the bed, preparing to grind up dried seahorse for her grandfather before she allowed herself to retire to sleep. She grabbed a handle of the little guys and began grinding them in a pestle and mortar carefully as to not spill the contents on her sheets. There were two short knocks on her door before it swung open suddenly, her grandfather allowing himself in.

"Meihua, you have come home too late… Don't come home late again, okay?" He was dressed in his pajamas which were easily two sizes too big, hanging off his gaunt frame.

She nodded tiredly, not having the energy to fight him on the subject. "Can I go to a party at James's house on the weekend?"

"No."

"Okay."

With that, he exited the room. _Well, now I've asked. That's the extent of my convincing._ She continued grinding up the seahorse when she heard a familiar tapping upon the windowsill.

" _Again?_ When does it end?" she asked herself aloud.

Still sitting on her bed, she leaned over and opened the window to let in a small barn owl that she'd never seen before. He was carrying a little parcel that looked like a book with a letter affixed to it. Curious, she untied the parcel from the owl and it seemed relieved without the weight. She was surprised to see Remus's neat penmanship in rich onyx ink. Unable to help herself, she savagely tore open the parcel first which turned out to be a collection of works by Pablo Neruda. _Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair._ The cover was worn and the binding a bit loose, she thought that it must have been a well loved book. Her cheeks flushed red, although she knew it was simply a friendly gesture. After all, he saw her reading the poet's work all the time the previous school year.

She tore the envelope open carefully for some reason, as though to preserve it and read.

 _Dear Meihua,_

 _I know you like Pablo Neruda's work, at the very least you've read the book you have of his at least a hundred times. I knew the name sounded familiar, and upon reviewing my collection of books it turns out that I have, indeed, read some of his works. He's absolutely brilliant. I thought that this might be best passed on to you since you're probably bored of the one you have now. I know you must understand his poetry more than you let on. There's nothing wrong with being a bit bookish, you know. I'd say it's actually endearing, would that sound conceited of me? If you like it, I want you to keep it._

 _I also wanted to write to tell you that you're more than welcome to come to the Potters' on Saturday night at 8 o'clock. You may floo to their cottage in Godric's Hollow, West Country. We're all expecting you, and you know I don't like to take no for an answer._

 _Cheers,_

 _Remus J. Lupin_

She sighed, hand pressed against her heart as she finished the letter. She tucked the letter and book away on the nightable with the powdered seahorse. Rubbing her eyes, she noticed the owl had already left while she was busy reading. She shed her clothes before hopping back into bed, eyes too heavy to keep open. From her bed, she gazed up at the crescent moon as she fell asleep. She would worry about planning her escape in the morning.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Two for two! Please review/follow/favourite, it makes my day! :)**


	6. Red Cheeks and the Smell of Cigarettes

_A tall, slender frame stood by the large window above the sink, filling up a cast iron teapot with water. Her thick black hair was cut short at the nape of her neck. The sun was beginning to rise, casting a light orange hue throughout the small kitchen and giving some warmth to the cold tile floor where it touched. She was humming a nostalgic tune, one with a sweet vibrato that could have belonged to a nightingale. She placed the teapot on the stove, turning the element on the highest setting. Although she was a witch, she seldom felt the need to use magic for everyday tasks. Her bare feet pattered on the tile floor as she made her way down the hall of the apartment._

 _In the far bedroom lay a little girl, her daughter, who lie half asleep in an unkempt bed listening to her mother's song as she fell in and out of dreams._

" _Meihua, wake up…" The woman lightly shook her daughter._

" _Leave me in peace…" The little girl rolled over to bury her face in her pillow, encased in a blanket of her own long black hair._

" _I have to go to work now. I put a kettle on for you. Don't forget it."_

 _There were school books scattered across the floor, many of them left open with papers strewn over them. It was clear the girl had fallen into a restless sleep after hours of late night studying._

" _Don't work yourself so hard… Above all else, your health is the one thing you can't put a price on."_

 _She stroked her daughter's hair, silky tresses falling between blithe, long fingers. Her daughter pretended to sleep. Her mother knew this, seeing the tell tale signs of her unsteadily rising and falling chest and darting eyes beneath closed lids. The woman began to sing her song airily. A song that reminded the young girl of summers spent cloud watching and looking for four leaf clovers._

" _Moon River, wider than a mile,_

 _I'm crossing you in style some day._

 _Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,_

 _wherever you're going, I'm going your way…"_

 _In the distance, one could hear the kettle's whistle growing louder and louder._

It had been a long time since Meihua had that dream. Years, even. The last time she had seen her mother alive played once over in her mind as her mother's song still rang in the farthest corners of her mind. Meihua threw the heavy crocheted throw to the floor and heaved herself up before she lost the courage.

She walked into the sitting room to see Tian was pouring red ginseng tea into a couple small porcelain cups.

"Meihua, I have been thinking about the other day when you ask me about seeing your friend tonight..." He paused and took great pains in sitting down in his seat. "You have done so well in school that it is unfair of me to make you work all the time… You deserve to have some fun like kids your age do. As long as you promise me you will continue to have good marks again this year."

She felt a small pang of guilt in the pit of her stomach. She brought the steaming cup of tea to her lips, still too hot to drink. "Yeah..."

"How is your friend, Sirius?" He had already begun sipping his hot tea, as if it were a cup of warm milk.

"I think he's okay, he's living with the Potters now. They're an old wizarding family, loaded, too. He'll be taken care of there."

"Money can buy many things, that are not even for sale…" he mused silently.

 _Okay… whatever that means._ She eyed the arrangement of fresh sliced fruit on the table and pierced one with a tiny fork, chewing slowly. The fruit was ripe and juicy, falling apart in her mouth.

"Is your knee getting worse?" she asked as she sat down, though she already knew the answer.

"What?"

She rolled her eyes, raising her voice that she was nearly shouting. "Is your knee getting worse?!"

"My knee? Pah… My hip is worse today…" Tian wheezed. "I have my acupuncture at noon. When I come back, you can leave for your party. Ok? No drinking!"

"Oh… Okay. It just seems like your pain is getting a lot worse lately, that's all." She had to bite her tongue to prevent saying anything further, such as the obvious magical remedies that immediately came to mind.

Ye-ye waved his hand dismissively. He only believed in the traditional Chinese medicine, which for him consisted of a strict regime of herbal medicine, massage, and acupuncture. He believed in many of the old Chinese legends of _gu_ , dark magic, in which magical people used their abilities to bring harm to others, and to this day had little interest in any involvement with the other world.

"Eat lots." He patted her on the back as he walked down the hall into his room to get ready for his appointment. She stuck another piece of fruit in her mouth, chewing happily and with a little bubble of anticipation for later that night. She had decided to wear the rose pink A-line dress, the only dress she owned that had darts in the right places and perhaps to try her hand at her makeup skills which consisted mostly of lipgloss and mascara.

* * *

The shop was plenty busy that night, being the weekend and located in a less than desirable neighbourhood for families. A couple of drunkards stumbled into the shop at one point after the sun had gone down for the night. They loitered around the shop for a while, discussing loudly their debaucherous plans for the night. Unable to tune them out, Meihua pretended to be instead interested in her grandfather's crossword puzzle until they finally came to the counter.

"Oi, can I get some fags?" the tall one asked. He had short, gelled blonde hair and appeared to be missing a couple teeth, wearing sweatpants and a football t-shirt. By his look and Cockney accent, she could immediately tell he was a local.

"What can I get for you?"

"Pack o' Mayfair."

She grabbed the pack of cigarettes from behind the counter and placed them in front of him "That'll be 2 quid."

"Aye, luv, I don't usually like the Asian birds but you look quite nice," the shorter one said, a balding dark haired man who couldn't be older than 25. His skin looked oily to the touch and his face was pock-marked.

"I'm sorry?" She said through her teeth. If she wasn't working in the shop alone, she would have had some choice words for him. "That'll be 2 quid, unless you haven't got it."

"Now luv, it was a compliment," his friend piped in. "Do you fancy clubbin'? We can take you to a nice club on Hoxton."

"No. Thanks." She said curtly. "As I said, that'll be 2 quid."

The short one seemed to get frustrated then and changed his tone. "Feelin' gobby, are we?"

She slipped a hand into her bag under the counter, feeling around for her wand. She let out a short breath after her fingers came into contact with its wood. She knew that if these men were about to get hostile, she would surely be bested in any physical altercation. Her eyebrows knit together and she tried to hold a calm composure. "If that's all, I think you should leave."

"C'mon, luv, don't disrespect me now. I think we could 'ave some fun with a little ting like you." The taller man reached over the counter, rubbing his thumb across her chin before she could move away. He reeked of alcohol and cheap cologne.

"A word of advice, mate: if you want to impress a girl, you might not want to start with a backhanded compliment."

Remus, appearing suddenly behind them, looked down on them threateningly. Meihua's heart skipped a beat. Remus, the ever gentle and kind friend, had a look in his eye that she had never seen before. "And you might want to fuck off before I have reason to bloody you."

"'Aving a laugh, mate." The taller one shoved Remus in his shoulders, but backed off after giving him a hard stare. The two men walked out of the shop without so much as another word. She breathed a heavy sigh of relief, though it came out shakier than she anticipated. She couldn't recall ever hearing Remus take that tone or use foul language, it seemed alien coming from his mouth.

Remus didn't waste another second coming around the counter and enveloping her in his strong embrace. She hugged him back shyly, wrapping her arms around his back. His brown jacket smelled faintly of aftershave and chocolate, and another scent that was unique to him. She couldn't quite put her finger on it. She felt so incredibly safe in his arms, and in that moment she completely forgot about everything that just came to pass. He looked down at her in his arms and loosened his grasp on her as he relaxed.

"What on earth was that, Meihua? You shouldn't be working alone at night, not in this neighbourhood." Remus sounded like he was stuck between being stern and soothing.

"Well, it's not like I have a choice. They aren't the first lousy berks and they likely won't be the last," she spoke into his chest. "You don't need to worry about me, they wouldn't have done anything."

"How do you know that?!" His voice bellowed all of a sudden, startling her. He let out a shaky sigh. "Sorry, I - I know you have to work, but I just don't like the idea of you alone at night in these parts. You don't know if they wouldn't have done anything if I hadn't came 'round. They don't know you're a witch, all they see is a pretty, vulnerable young girl to take advantage of."

 _He thinks I'm pretty...? God no, that's not important right now._

She slid out of his arms, looking up into his hazel eyes daringly. His face was so close to hers that she could have kissed him. His lips looked so soft and inviting that it almost caused her to lose her train of thought. Suddenly she didn't feel so daring, only rather small and pathetic in front of him.

"Okay… I'm fine now that you're here. Thank you. I feel like a complete turnip, needing a man to come rescue me."

"What?" he asked incredulously. He took a further step back. "It's not your fault. I'm glad I came when I did. To be honest, I was going to pick you up for the party tonight... I know I didn't say I would, but I thought you might need help escaping."

She chuckled in spite of everything. "Actually, I was gonna come anyway once Ye-ye got back. But I appreciate your coming here. I would expect no less from a Marauder."

"You look nice," he commented after the air around him seemed to settle, looking down at her ensemble. He bore something of a wanton look in his eye that did not go unnoticed by her. "Those clowns probably weren't expecting the convenience store clerk to look like that."

"Alright, alright…" She rolled her eyes, blushing with her hands now linked behind her back. She thought he looked quite sharp himself, though she kept her mouth shut about that. "Let's get going, then? I'll just close up the shop and leave a note for my grandfather. He's late anyway."

She scribbled a hasty note from a torn piece of the receipt paper and taped it to the register.

 _Gone to Potter's, be good xx._

Remus stepped ahead of her and held the door open for her to exit first. "After you, then."

Meihua shut the door behind Remus after he caught up and locked the door with a massive set of keys. "So, are we flooing?"

"Afraid so. I don't particularly fancy flooing twice in one night, but I suppose we don't have much of a choice. We'll go into Diagon Alley from here and floo from there to the Potter's' house."

Although the sun was still in the sky, it was beginning to get dark and the air had turned mild. Before they could take off down the sidewalk, Meihua quickly reached into her bag for a cigarette. Remus raised his brow but she stopped him before he could say anything with a wave of her hand.

"Don't judge me, I've had a long day. How is Sirius doing? Have you seen him?"

"We've been writing mostly, I think he's actually doing a lot better just being out of that... environment, to be honest…"

"Ah…" She looked down at her feet, suddenly interested in the red silk flats she wore as she began to walk down the street.

"Don't you write him?" Remus asked, though he knew he shouldn't have. He stuck his hands in his pockets, fiddling with his wand in his right hand. He, too, wanted to avert his gaze to the pavement in front of his feet but found it rather stuck on the slight upward curve of her nose.

"Well, I don't have my own owl so I kind of rely on other people to write me first…" she chuckled awkwardly. "So we're walking to Diagon Alley then? It might take a while, and we are late… but hailing a taxi will be too expensive."

Of course Remus had no plans to do just that once she expressed her disinterest. He looked around with a mischievous grin planted on his face, pulling her into a nearby alley between two storefronts. She almost tripped on her own feet in the process. "Have you ever apparated before?"

"What?!" Her jaw dropped once she processed his words. "What on earth - you need a licence to do that! Don't tell me…"

"I can manage it just fine, and we can do side-along apparition and avoid all of that nonsense. Do you trust me?" Remus held his arm out. She pursed her lips as she thought hard for a moment. Of course she trusted him, he was a much more talented wizard than she was but she also recognized the risks involved.

"But it's _against the rules._ It's _illegal!_ " she whispered harshly.

"Oh, come on now. There's no harm in breaking the rules sometimes," Remus said, still holding his arm out for Meihua. After a moment of reluctance, she accepted his hand.

"Hold on _tightly_ ," he instructed. She immediately complied, holding his arm as tightly as she could to her body and squeezed her eyes shut. She heard a loud _crack_ before she felt like her whole body was being pushed and squeezed into itself. She tried to focus on keeping her grip on Remus as tight as she could manage instead of the sensation of her body being thwarted through space. When they re-materialised on the Potter's grounds, Meihua lost control of her grip and tumbled forward onto the grass. She suddenly had the strong urge to vomit, and her body heaved uncontrollably despite her best efforts to control herself. Then before she could stop herself, she vomited a small amount of disgusting, yellow bile that left her throat raw.

"Are you alright?!" Remus kneeled beside her as soon as he gained his bearings. He placed a large hand on her back, softly running his palm up and down her spine. "Shh, it's okay. This is a completely normal reaction for your first time. I should have warned you."

"Eugh… No, that is disgusting." She got up after a moment with Remus's help, trying not to look at the filthy, lurid yellow puddle on the ground. Her legs felt wobbly and she wasn't sure if it was a side effect of the apparition or her nerves. "Don't get too close now."

"Don't worry," he laughed airily. "I think I've seen worse. Now then, let's get you inside before you make too much of a mess."

Remus let Meihua hold onto his arm for balance as they walked up the front yard to the impressive Potter home. It was a two-story house, the exterior covered in large cobblestones and some greenery growing delightfully up the walls. Although the sun had begun to now set, there was warm light emanating from the windows on the ground floor. Once they reached the front door step, Meihua managed to find her own footing and straightened out the wrinkles in her dress.

Remus knocked twice upon the familiar oak door and a second later the door swung open on creaking hinges. James' father promptly opened the door before they had a second to wait, revealing an older man with black hair speckled with flecks of gray and who wore well tailored dark robes. Though he seemed more or less like an average middle aged Englishman, Meihua felt the urge to recoil underneath his gaze. She suddenly felt like she didn't belong there, and she wished that perhaps she had something to cover her bare shoulders.

"Hullo, kids! Come right on in then," he spoke through a wide grin. He stepped back, gesturing for them to enter.

Meihua stepped forward first with Remus trailing her. Inside was a large foyer with dark hardwood floors and a staircase that led up to the second floor. There were various photographs on the wall of people Meihua assumed were family members, and though they smiled warmly at her it was slightly unsettling to feel their presence. There was some kind of swing music playing on a gramophone distantly down the hall that seemed to bounce off the walls as it reached her ears. She could see why Sirius would like to live here.

"Mr. Potter." Remus nodded politely in acknowledgement, smiling.

"You have a beautiful home…" Meihua said, still in awe. She was immensely aware of the amount of magic that was in the home, and it reminded her of her time at school.

The man laughed lightly. "Why, thank you. Here, I'll take your jacket, Remus. You're Sirius's girlfriend, right? It's nice to meet you. Fleamont Potter."

He shook Meihua's hand vigorously which took her somewhat by surprise. "Oh! Nice to meet you. It's Meihua Xu."

He paused for a moment, then simply smiled and nodded. She assumed he was about to say her name before he realized he probably couldn't pronounce it.

"Well, the kids are in the living room just down the hall. I'll get out of your hair now. Have fun!"

They started down the hall together and Meihua almost had to stop herself from impulsively holding his hand. _Get a grip, you flipping turnip-head!_ In the living room, James, Peter, and Sirius sat around brown leather couches chatting and playing a game of Exploding Snap. There was also Mary Macdonald and Marlene McKinnon, the former sitting so close to Sirius she was basically on his lap. They all turned their heads to the pair as they walked in.

"Mei!" Sirius jumped up and ran over to her, enveloping her in a tight hug. He buried his head in her hair and whispered in her ear. "Wow, you look absolutely ravishing. How come I haven't seen that little number before?"

Meihua wasn't sure what kind of a reception she was expecting from him, but she was a little overwhelmed at the display of affection. After peering over his chest to see everyone staring, she hugged him back. She thought she might puke again all of a sudden but managed to speak. "I'm so happy to see you doing so well. Are you alright here?"

Sirius stepped back, beaming from ear to ear. He looked so much happier than he did that night he came to her house, she thought. He looked the way he did when he was at school. "Of course! I love it here!"

James got up from his seat. "Here, Mei, let me get you a drink. What do you want?"

"Just something light to start with, thanks."

Sirius, much to Meihua's dislike, resumed his seat next to Mary. Since the only seat left was on a chair opposite the large sofa (unless she wanted to squeeze her cheeks between Peter and the foot of the couch), she decided to sit there. Remus took a seat on the arm of the chair.

"What do you mean by light? We're not drinking lemonade here, you know." James laughed.

"Erm, a beer?"

"I'll have one, too," Remus said.

James walked out towards the kitchen. Meihua made a conscious effort to not lock eyes with Mary, pretty little blonde thing sitting next to her boyfriend.

"I thought you lot weren't going to show up," Peter spoke up after taking a swig of his mixed drink. "Certainly took you long enough."

"It was a good thing I went to get her. She was working late and there were a couple of idiots trying to get her to come out with them," Remus said soberly. "They wouldn't leave her alone."

"What?!" Sirius shouted. His composure suddenly changed at the news.

"It's not a big deal, just a couple of gobby chavs who think they're big men," Meihua insisted with a dark tone. "I've seen worse. The East End is a pit for that kind of scum. I think after working this long at the shop, there isn't much I haven't seen."

"Wow." Marlene knit her eyebrows together. "That's horrible. I can't believe you have to put up with that rubbish."

Sirius fell silent, looking somewhat dejected. Meihua wondered if he felt strange about the fact that Remus was there, that his best friend was the one who happened to be there to comfort his girlfriend. For some reason, she felt guilty.

"Thanks for looking after her, mate."

"Let's not allow that to ruin our night, now." Meihua laughed awkwardly. "I'm serious, it wasn't even an issue."

James came back with two opened beer bottles. Meihua thanked him quickly before taking a large swig and hoping that it would wash away the last traces of vomit from her mouth. She wished Remus hadn't brought the events from earlier in the first place, but she had to be glad that he at least kept the other little incident a secret.

"Right, so what do we do now? Aren't we a little bored of Exploding Snap?" James resumed his seat on the other chair opposite the couch, drink in hand.

"I say we make it a little more interesting," Mary said. "What about Strip Snap? Every time a card explodes, someone has to take off an article of clothing."

Peter whistled and Remus shook his head, chuckling lightly. James looked around, mainly at the girls, to gauge people's reactions.

"Let's do it then," Meihua said. She knew if Mary stepped a toe out of line she was liable to do inflict harm upon the other girl since her obvious flirting with Sirius was driving her mad already, but she also wanted to look like a team player.

"Are you sure?" Remus asked, reluctant.

"Sure, could be fun." Meihua

"You're at a bit of a disadvantage, love. You're wearing a bit less than the rest of us," Sirius said, seeming to change his tune at the thought of his mates seeing her undress. Meihua glared back in his direction.

"Not a problem. I'm the champion at Exploding Snap." She took another large drink of liquid courage which she desperately needed. She was horrible at Exploding Snap.

"Alright then!" James clapped his hands together. "It's settled. If I may introduce a new rule, the losing party also needs to take a drink each time."

Everyone murmured in agreement.

"I can't believe I'm doing this, but sure." Marlene laughed dryly.

James stood up and rearranged the cards on the coffee table. He passed out some cards equally to each of the six parties face down and left the rest in a pile in the middle. He grabbed a bottle of firewhiskey from beneath the table and poured the alcohol into an empty shot glass on the table.

"Alright, sit down 'round the table. Clockwise, one person will reveal a card from their pile and one from the deck. When someone has a card in their personal pile identical to the deck card, someone else can tap the deck's card with their wand and say 'snap'. I suppose what's different in our version is the exploded party will have to discard an item of clothing and take a shot, and there will be no points."

"Sounds simple enough." Peter finished off his drink and left his empty glass at the edge of the table. Meihua felt a bit horrible for thinking it, but she really hoped he had good luck in card games. They all sat down around the table, and Meihua took notice that Sirius once again sat next to Mary. She supposed she shouldn't think too much of it since he was seated on the other side of the table to begin with, but wedged between Mary and Marlene was not her favourite place for him to be. She sat in the last available place next to Peter and Remus.

"I'll start, then." Sirius picked up the two cards and left it face up for all to see, revealing a manticores card and a bowtruckles. They played without incident for the first round as they went around the table, not yet having any matching cards. Meihua had polished off her beer by the time it was coming to be her turn, already feeling a little buzzed.

Peter revealed a cyclops card and Remus immediately rushed in to tap the matching card with his wand. " _SNAP!"_

The card exploded with a loud crack, and everyone near Peter recoiled to avoid the explosion. Peter, on the other hand, looked as though he singed an eyebrow. Sirius threw his head back in barking laughter.

"Alright, Peter, show us the good stuff!" Sirius banged his fist on the table.

Peter rolled his eyes and made a show of taking off only his shoes. He hesitantly took the shot glass and downed it quickly, wincing and coughing afterwards.

"What a cheat!" Remus teased, finally finishing his own drink.

"Laugh all you want, I'm sure you'll be next." Peter retorted.

Then it was Meihua's turn and everyone turned to look at her. Without skipping a beat, she turned over her cards to reveal two identical cards from the deck and her own personal pile. Remus realized this before even anyone else, knocking into her as he tapped the card with his wand.

" _SNAP!_ " He pushed her back onto the ground with him to avoid the blow near their faces. Meihua was knocked onto her back harshly on the hardwood floor, while Remus was bent over with an arm over her to shield from the explosion. She had to admit he proved he had quite fast reflexes. Everyone clapped and jeered at the display save Sirius.

"Oh bother…" Meihua groaned silently.

"Come on then, what'll it be?" Marlene quipped. "The shoes… or the dress?"

Meihua's face felt hot with everyone's eyes on her again. She got up from under Remus and decided to take a shot of firewhiskey first for extra courage. With trembling hands behind her back, she unzipped her dress and let it fall around her hips. She felt completely exposed in only a lace bralette and knickers, but smiled slyly in the direction of Sirius and the girls. James and Peter hooted loudly, clapping.

"Now _that_ is how it's done, Peter!" James poured a shot for himself.

If she thought Sirius might be slightly enraged by her actions and his friends' comments, she would have been surprised to see him staring back at her longingly. His grey eyes were so intense and full of lust that she couldn't bear to lock eyes for longer than a second, averting her eyes back to the cards on the table in front her. It was then she realized this was actually the first time he saw her properly in a state of undress, despite their many trysts during the school year. She would have normally been embarrassed, but the alcohol made her surprisingly uninhibited in that moment. _There you go, he's never given Mary so much as half a look like that before._

Remus beside her realized he was staring for perhaps a moment too long.

"Right then, it's my turn," he muttered.

The game went on for about over an hour, and by the end most people were at least shirtless, save Remus who seemed to have impeccably good luck. At a certain point, the game was simply abandoned as people got too drunk and rowdy to pay attention to whose turn it was supposed to be. Meihua tried to not feel disappointed, after all she could clearly see her boyfriend's bare chest and he happened to be very fit, but she knew that already. She didn't know what Remus' skin looked like underneath his clothes, and she wondered if he had any other mysterious scars normally hidden from view. She felt sick for having such thoughts. She got up, slipping her dress back on and zipping it back up.

"I'm just going out for a moment to gather some fresh air," she said hastily as she grabbed her bag.

Sirius, currently engaged in a drunken arm wrestling match with James, nodded in her direction but was otherwise occupied. She walked towards the large French doors at the back of the living room that led to the backyard. Once outside and fairly certain that the others weren't paying attention, she lit herself another cigarette. Something about being drunk made her crave them more. She heard the doors open, and saw Remus climb outside.

"So when did you start smoking?"

"Huh? Oh, hm… Probably the summer in third year. I had a bit of a rebellious stage, I wanted to be like my mum who always smoked these. My grandfather was really disappointed in me when I started performing poorly in school, and I started hanging out with useless chavs in the neighbourhood to test him." She laughed and took another drag of the cigarette, watching the smoke disperse in the night sky as she exhaled. "Everyone was doing it, which I guess is a pretty shitty reason to do it, but here we are."

"Terrible habit, you know." Remus smiled, leaning against the glass doors. The top button of his shirt had at some point been unbuttoned, his collarbones revealed with a little peek at the top of his chest. The wind was blowing in her direction, sending a breeze filled with his scent towards her.

"Yeah… I never smoke when I'm at school, but I always find myself taking it back up again in the summer."

"I thought Sirius was going to murder Peter with the way he was staring at your breasts the whole time," Remus said amusedly.

"Not if I did first. He honestly creeps me out sometimes."

"Well, he's just a man, after all."

"What are you saying?" Meihua asked skeptically. "That a man cannot control himself?"

He laughed and threw his hands up in mock defense. "No! I'm just saying, a lovely girl in her underwear was right beside him. That's the most action he's gotten so far in… well, honestly, ever."

His face suddenly fell serious. "What did you expect? That nobody would notice your breasts through that transparent material?"

Her complexion was intensely hot from both embarrassment and the alcohol. "What..? Remus, we were all playing a game… We all willingly agreed to it, including my boyfriend so.. I don't think it's your place at all to say that to me."

He looked away, straight ahead into the trees in the yard. His voice was firm and unfriendly. "Yeah. You're right"

"Okay…" She stomped out her cigarette after taking one last drag. Suddenly she felt nauseous again. Her mind was running wild, thinking about how the other girls had taken off their shirts as well and she couldn't figure out why he was reacting this way to only her. She wanted to say something, anything to defend herself even though she wasn't sure what she did differently than Mary and Marlene.

Out of words, she decided to escape the situation by heading back in. As she grabbed the metal handle of the doorknob, she felt Remus' strong hands pull her back. She was pulled into his chest where she could smell the sweat on his chest and the scent of alcohol on his breath. He wrapped his arms around her and leaned down a bit to bury his face in the top of her head, nose in her thick black hair. Her arms were awkwardly placed on his chest between their bodies.

"Sorry, I'm being a complete fool. I'm…" Remus spoke muffled by hair. "I'm a bit drunk, that's all."

He retreated slowly, dragging his hands down her arms as he stepped away. He opened the door for her and she let herself back in without another word. She walked over to Sirius who sat alone on the couch then, watching James and Peter dance foolishly with the girls to the jazz playing on the old enchanted gramophone. The girls had completely redressed, but James and Peter seemed completely content to parade around with no shirts on.

"You and Remus have a moment, then?" he said, still staring ahead. He had slipped his shirt back on his shoulders, still completely unbuttoned.

"I was out having a fag," she said simply. Her vision was now whirring from the drink, and she could barely think straight. Though she had been buzzed for a while, the intoxication seemed to hit her like a brick out of nowhere.

He turned over to her, grabbing her chin and kissing her forcefully in front of everyone. She could taste the bitter alcohol on his mouth, but she didn't care. She kissed him back eagerly, allowing him entrance to her mouth when he licked and sucked on her bottom lip. She brought a hand to his bare chest, exploring each inch of his skin with the tips of her fingers. Even with her eyes closed, it felt like the whole room was moving around her as if she were on a small boat riding with the tide. In her inebriated state, she almost forgot that there were other people in the room until she heard James' and Peter's fanfare. She was suddenly snapped out of whatever trance she was in and pulled herself off Sirius. She tried to focus her eyes on a single object or person in the room to stop herself from feeling so dizzy.

"Save some for the bedroom, Padfoot," James said.

Unable to control the nauseous feeling, she closed her eyes and slumped down on the couch. She could only just barely hear the others chatting over the silver tune of the gramophone. In her mind, she could faintly hear hermother's song again.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Thank you for reviews, please don't be a stranger! ;) It makes my day to see a new review.**

 **The excerpt of Moon River is written by Johnny Mercer and I don't own it in any sense of the word!**


	7. Caught In Her Knickers and Waxing Poetic

There comes a time when one can no longer ignore the gnawing thoughts and unanswered questions that keep coming to knock on the door. Meihua had gotten through most of her life simply dancing through any obstacles, without a second thought about the future or those whose toes she might stumble upon. The thing she could never have anticipated was failure. She had not tried to attain anything in this life from academic success to real love because she couldn't bear the thought of playing the fool, the one whose sights were set on the goal and in the end fell on their face for everyone to see.

The object of her ire was her need. Though she never tried at anything and though she put up the facade of someone who couldn't give a fuck what happened to her, she should have known it could still happen all the same. And if it did happen, or rather when it did happen… She could still be the stupid little nit who ended up with nothing in the end, a useless, callow might-have-been; the only difference would be that she pretended not to care.

The rest of her summer passed by stale and uneventful, working long hours at the shop and simply ignoring any and all owls from friends. When she awoke the next morning after the party, hungover and still a bit drunk, she wondered for the first time what the fuck she was going to do with her life when school was over and reality began to set in. Upon returning home from the party, there were already letters from Lucinda piling up on the windowsill, soon followed by ones from Sirius and Remus. The next step from avoiding responsibilities was naturally ignoring everyone she felt obligated to in any way.

The only problem with that plan was that her return to Hogwarts for her final year was inevitable. Whether she liked it or not, the day came where she had to stand at the train's platform awaiting the Hogwarts Express amongst a crowd of her peers. Some faces she knew, some faces were new, but most of them were people she overlooked, those who she pretended not to hear when they called her name at school for she deemed them unfit of her attention. The irony, she realized, was that even people who she considered losers turned up surrounded by their doting families, smiling and anxious to begin the chapter of their lives. She even saw Lucinda and Tate waiting at the front of the line together to enter to train once it arrived, who took one gander in her direction before looking away and talking amongst themselves.

She walked alone to the prefects' compartment as for the first time she really had no other place to go. She was the first there, sitting down and pulling out a book from her bag that had up until recently remained untouched. It was Remus' gift to her, _Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair._ She flipped through the pages, lightly skimming the words until she found one poem that stood out amongst the rest. The page had previously been dog-eared, and its edges were worn.

 _I like for you to be still: it is as though you were absent,_

 _and you hear me from far away and my voice does not touch you._

 _It seems as though your eyes had flown away_

 _and it seems that a kiss had sealed your mouth._

 _As all things are filled with my soul_

 _you emerge from the things, filled with my soul._

 _You are like my soul, a butterfly of dreams,_

 _and you are like the word Melancholy._

 _I like for you to be still, and you seem far away._

 _It sounds as though you were lamenting, a butterfly cooing like a dove._

 _And you hear me from far away, and my voice does not reach you:_

 _Let me come to be still in your silence…_

A voice interrupted suddenly her reverie. "Are you enjoying your new book?"

It happened to be a certain Remus Lupin, standing at the door of the compartment with his heavy trunk. He wore a tired smile and dark bags around his eyes, looking much older than his 17 years. She smiled back at him with a hint of rouge played upon her cheeks, tucking the book away to revisit at another time. She straightened her back and let her hair fall loosely over her shoulder. He took a seat opposite her.

"Well I suppose I can't call it a 'new' book, but it's new to you, at least."

She knit her eyebrows together at the feeling of unease settling in the pit of her stomach. She didn't want to dance around her obvious avoidance of everyone anymore, even if he wouldn't mention it.

"I'm sorry I didn't write you back. I was, well… I could say that I was busy, but that wouldn't be fair since one can always make time for people they care about. If it makes you feel any better, I wasn't replying to anyone. I just wanted to be alone for a while."

"Alone? _You?_ You and Sirius are possibly the most extroverted people I know. Though… I can understand the frame of mind," he mused. "You don't have to worry about apologizing to me. I'll always be around when you'll have my company again."

He smiled warmly, and she could feel the nagging thoughts coming back to haunt her at the mere sight of his green speckled eyes. She loved him. That much was certain. No matter how she tried to distract myself with the body of another, she couldn't be freed of that fact. Although he was not as classically handsome or charismatic as his dark haired friend, she was drawn to him like a frail, frightened moth to a flame. In her mind, a good natured soul like Remus still had his pick of the girls at school and she, cheeky slag she was, would have been the last on his mind. Especially being his best mate's girlfriend, the irony of it all. She began to think that he was right when he said she understood the poet's lament more than she let on, even to herself.

"If anyone should apologize, perhaps it should be me… I can't help but feel a bit strange after I acted like a complete berk that night at James'. We were all having fun, and I shouldn't have made you feel guilty."

His tone surprised her, serious and even a bit dour.

"You don't have to apologize, please. That's not why I didn't want to talk to you. That's long past and forgotten, and I don't think anyone remembers a lot of the stupid things we did that night," she laughed dryly in attempt to make it into a joke. "Perhaps my body entranced you that night."

He made a show of laughing sarcastically. "Enough about your body. I've already heard my share on that topic from Sirius."

Her face paled. "Huh?"

"Oh, nevermind that," he seemed to backtrack. "I didn't mean anything rude, but he's just charmed with you is all. He likes to brag about you, I guess."

"I see…"

Meihua wondered what Sirius did say about her to his friends, if he shared candid information of their trysts. That perhaps he told them about the girl he really loved, and how he used her body as an empty vessel for his affections. She physically shook her head to get rid of these thoughts, knowing Sirius wouldn't dare tell even his best mates who he really liked.

"Anyway," Remus said, more than eager to change the conversation. "How was the rest of your summer? Did you get to enjoy much of the book?"

"Oh, boring. I worked mostly. I didn't even get to open the book before now, I'm afraid. Are you fond of it? You said you never read his works before, but it seems pretty... well loved."

Remus chuckled softly, running a hand through his hair that he let grow a bit over the summer. "Well, I've mostly skimmed it. It belonged to my mum first. She's a muggle, and she loves poetry."

"I didn't know your mother was a muggle, actually… What's she called?"

Remus shifted in his seat. The intensity of her wide obsidian eyes brought him back to the last night they saw each other, and he remembered the light of the waxing moon that danced on the exposed skin of her chest as they stood in the Potter's yard. The shadows that fell on her flawless, milky complexion. He told himself that it was only his boyish hormones exacerbated by the upcoming full moon, his inner wolf making him more desperate, more dangerous. He fought to keep his mind on current matters. "I'm afraid it's not really my style. I do enjoy poetry, but I mostly read classic English authors as far as muggle literature goes."

"Perhaps you could-"

Meihua's train of thought was interrupted by the sliding compartment being opened. In walked Lily Evans and a mousy fifth year Ravenclaw girl, already wearing their school uniforms. Both in good spirits, they gave wide smiles and said hello. Meihua tried to not fixate on their untimely interruption of her one on one time with Remus, and offered the girls the most genuine smile she could manage. Actually the red-haired Gryffindor was probably the last person Meihua wanted in that compartment.

"Lily, it's lovely to see you again." Remus smiled sincerely, suddenly snapped out of his trance. He got up, shaking hands with the new prefect and introduced himself. "Though I'd love to stay and chat with you ladies, I really ought to find my friends before they get up to no good."

"Yeah, you'd better do that," said Lily dryly. She seemed to be in a good mood until the (indirect) mention of James Potter. James had a reputation of going from one girl to the next in quick succession, but he was always devotedly obsessed with Lily whether he had a girlfriend or not. Lily, the fiery red-headed Gryffindor, was not afraid to speak her piece about what she thought of him; it wasn't positive.

Remus left as quickly as he excused himself, leaving the girls on their own. The two girls sat opposite Meihua, chatting about prefect responsibilities, who was cute in seventh year, and other rubbish that was boring as sin to her. She closed her eyes, pretending to drift off to sleep as the train took off and willed herself to be in her old four poster bed, cozy in linens freshly cleaned by house-elves.

"Meihua, why don't you change real quick while it's just us? We're all girls here. I'll put a charm on the door so no one can come or see inside." Lily shook the other girl to wake her.

"Huh…?" Although she was only pretending to be sleep, it had actually made her feel a tad groggy and her voice cracked. "Okay then, you're right."

Meihua was still wearing high waisted jeans and a worn t-shirt, both scores from the thrift shop near her flat but quite inappropriate for a school of witchcraft and wizardry. Lily put a couple locking charms on the door, and once Meihua was sure they had privacy she shed her clothing and began to dig for her robes in her trunk.

"I just _love_ your brassiere, it's _so_ cute," the Ravenclaw cooed. "I wish I could pull off a lace bralette, but I'm afraid it wouldn't give my breasts proper support…"

 _Congratulations on your breasts._ Meihua opted to roll her eyes at the so called complement rather than say anything horrible, although her hand did hover over her chest to feel the slight curves that she hoped would have grown larger by Seventh Year. She had pulled her shirt over her head and began to put her arms through the sleeves when she heard a rustling noise, and the door popped open suddenly. She was about to scream when her breath hitched in her throat.

"Why on earth was the door-"

Of all the people Meihua did not want to see in her bra and knickers, of all the scum in the whole school, of all the vermin in the entirety of the United Kingdom… Barty Crouch Jr. was standing directly in front of her and she was completely paralysed, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. Lily shot up from her seat almost immediately, slamming the door shut in his face.

"THOSE CHARMS WERE PUT UP FOR A REASON, PLEASE KNOCK NEXT TIME YOU _PERVERT!"_

Lily screamed so loud, Meihua thought the entire train must have heard her. Lily's complexion flashed so deep red it made her ginger hair look pale in comparison. Meihua finished dressing hastily with Lily stood with her to the door, her own face beet red and sat silent in the corner of the compartment for the rest of the trip. Thankfully Barty had enough sense to not come anywhere near the prefects' compartment again.

* * *

Upon arrival at Hogwarts, it became known to Meihua that Lucinda Carew and Barty Crouch Jr. were officially an item once again. The new couple became the talk of the school before the school year even began. She took one look at him sitting with Lucinda and Tate at the Hufflepuff table during the feast, and veered off in the opposite direction. She found the group of Marauders at the Gryffindor table, sitting down next to Sirius without bothering with any pleasantries. His friends were in the midst of chatter but stopped to offer the girl welcoming smiles. She glanced between her boyfriend and his mates, trying to read their faces and paranoid that they would be talking about her for some reason.

"Lovely Mei, what brings you to our table this evening?" Sirius greeted her with a kiss on the cheek, quite a casual manner of greeting after their recent absence in one another's lives. She knew he would understand and not think anything of her ignoring his letters. They were too far gone at this point to simply disappear from each other's lives without as much as a word. She let out a breath that she hadn't realized she was holding.

"Don't look now... but there's a waster lurking around the Hufflepuff table."

"Eugh. I heard they were going out again," James was clearly and unapologetically sneering in Barty's direction. "How did you let that happen?"

"I'm not her decision maker. She'll drop him again soon enough once she gets bored, that's for certain. Now for the time being..." Meihua twirled a lock of her hair between her fingers idly. "I'd appreciate if I could find refuge at your table since I don't think I could stand being near him again for the next however long it takes her to get tired of him."

"We understand," Peter said. "He's a slimy git. I'm surprised he's not in Slytherin."

"I don't understand it," James said simply. "She could stand to do a lot better. She's a fit girl, she doesn't need to go dumpster diving for company."

"Of course you can sit with me, love. We have a lot of catching up to do." Sirius began to play with her hair, worn straight down her back. Meihua looked at him skeptically. He wasn't normally one to act this way in front of his mates. She wondered where the sudden public display of affection was coming from. She caught Lily Evans staring in their direction from down the long table and she came to understand.

Remus, sitting on the opposite side of the table, leaned forward towards Meihua and whispered loud enough for her to hear over the loud chatter of other students. "Is it true what happened… I mean, in the prefect's compartment with Barty Crouch?"

Their eyes met at his words and he could almost sense a hint of animosity flash in her black eyes. He wasn't thinking, it wasn't his place to ask. It was as if one glance from her could tell him in a second what she thought, and this time he knew he flipped her switch.

"What happened?" Sirius asked before she could get a word in, overhearing easily sitting next to Meihua. Her face grew hot, and she could hear her pulse stronger and quicker, louder in her ear. Though she could see the others before her, they quickly fell out of focus as her eyes became wet and heavy. Her mouth trembled uncontrollably, trying to find words but instead looking like a fish out of water. _Why is this happening to me? Is this some kind of cruel joke the universe is playing on me?_

"Erm, well… Don't act irrationally," Remus spoke for her before talking to the others in a hushed voice, all of the boys leaning in closer to hear. He wasn't sure if Meihua would hate him for repeating it, but he couldn't not tell. They would hear it eventually if not from him. "But there's a rumour going around that he was peeping on Lily and Meihua on the train changing into their robes."

James angrily slammed his fists on the table, causing the silverware and plates to jump, and Meihua pulled Sirius by his robes to stop him from getting up and marching over to the Hufflepuff table.

"Wait!" she croaked. "It's not true! Well.. Lily put some charms on our compartment door so I could change quickly, but it was the prefect compartment and Barty unlocked it and came in without knocking. It was a - a - a mistake, but… God, I hate him!"

"Oh please, my _arse_ it was a mistake!" Sirius bellowed, not in any way calmer from her explanation.

James, on the other hand, heaved a sigh of relief. "Good grief. I think I would have murdered him had he actually seen Lily."

Meihua's eyebrows lowered, annoyed at his lack of tact. "You do know she's not your girlfriend, and doesn't belong to you in any sense."

"But he's still seen _Mei_. We need to get back at that fucking tosser," Sirius said darkly. "He'll regret having done that."

James and Peter nodded conspiratorially. Remus, though he said nothing, didn't make any objection to his friend's plan and instead his eyes made contact with the table in front of him. For once Meihua wished Remus would act against his friends and be the better person she knew he was. She wanted to say that she would rather put a silly accident to rest, but she didn't say another word whilst the sorting began, barely listening to the boys talk about dirty pranks they could pull on Barty when he least expected it.

Dumbledore walked up to his podium after the sorting was complete, beginning his speech under the stars and floating candles. His ancient drawl was tuned out in her mind as she stared straight ahead to the empty plates and silverware. Despite her stomach being empty and rumbling, she could not be less enthused for the feast that was about to materialize in front of her. Her mind was no longer even on Barty Crouch and the embarrassing events that previously transpired. Instead, she couldn't stop picturing Sirius stealing shy glances at the brilliant red-haired witch down the table.

Lily Evans was for sure a spectacular witch. She was beautiful, smart, had good prospects, and many boys at Hogwarts would be thrilled at the chance to go out with her (mainly James Potter, who was very public about the fact). There was even a Slytherin in their year who was obsessed with her, Severus Snape - who was on the receiving end of much heckling from the Marauders mostly because of that fact. _Imagine that: Lily Evans, a muggleborn witch, could manage to charm the likes of an elitist snake without even so much as trying. She's so fucking lovely that my own boyfriend is in love with her._

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Of course, I do not own the excerpt of the poem "I like for you to be still" written by Pablo Neruda.**

 **Thanks for the support, please review!**


	8. Escaping Dark Thoughts

Seventh year began as a complete trainwreck for Meihua. If she weren't starting to care less and less about her reputation, she might have been hurt at the rumours that began to circulate about her being a total slag who was trying to sleep with her mate's boyfriends, or that she would go to bed with any rich pureblooded male who looked in her direction. Talk of her incident with Barty had blossomed from a kernel of truth into a fertile crop with bullshit manure. Meihua was no stranger to being in the spotlight in her time at Hogwarts, but she was not so used to being the subject of unfavourable gossip and nasty looks from passersby in the corridors between classes.

She knew that all rumours died down eventually, and that when the school year picked up there would be more interesting scandal for people to fuss about. That much was certain. What was left less than certain was the awkward situation between her and her best friend Lucinda Carew. Meihua hadn't replied to any of her letters all summer long, and hadn't really said a word to her since coming back to school, despite sharing close living quarters - beds placed side by side in their dormitory. They both seemed to silently acknowledge the bridge growing between them and neither made a move to stop it. If they were growing apart, it would have been the end of an era - only it didn't feel that way at all.

"Have you been alright?" Tate asked apprehensively one morning, sat at the foot of Meihua's bed after she finished showering and changing for the day. "I feel that you're distant now, you aren't acting as yourself."

It was pretty commonplace for Tate to be hanging around in the girls' dormitories. No one really seemed bothered by it, or even questioned it. For all anyone could be concerned, he was basically one of the girls - still as small and demure and endearing as ever in his 17 years. At this time in late morning, most people were at breakfast or already on their way to classes. Tate stayed behind, waiting for Meihua in order to confront her.

"I'm sorry if it feels I've been pushing you away." Meihua brushed wet stray hairs behind her ear. She could feel the knot in my stomach tightening, though she wasn't sure why she felt so anxious. Tate was, after all, one of her best friends and he hadn't done anything wrong by respecting the distance she set between herself and everyone else. "I guess I'm just going through a bit of a thing right now. And with Lucinda dating Barty again, for Merlin knows what reason, I just don't want to be around to watch that trainwreck."

"Yeah… She does act differently around him. I thought for sure it was over between them. But, uh…" He paused, pursing his lips with his eyes downcast. Meihua noticed that he had gotten a bit of a tan over the summer, with a dusting of freckles across the bridge of his upturned nose. "Don't you think it's a little unfair of you to just avoid her without communicating at all, whatsoever?"

"Sure it is," she conceded half-heartedly. "To be honest, I don't know why I'm being like this. I suppose maybe I feel a little betrayed that she lied to me. She always told us how much she couldn't stand Barty, and then flew back into his arms without a second thought as soon as he came crawling back to her."

"Maybe it's her parents…" Tate trailed off thoughtfully, stuffing his hands in his pockets..

"How do you mean?" Meihua raised an eyebrow.

"Well, no offense but you don't know what it's like to be from a pureblood family. There's a lot of pressure from your parents to settle down with someone from a good family. Good name, old money, blood status, that rubbish."

"I suppose that's true for you as well?" she slung her book bag over her head, gesturing for Tate to follow her out the door to class. They were already late for their morning class by then, so they had to head to Divination without breakfast. Tate, much like Meihua, was not much of an academic and therefore ended up in most of the same classes she did due to not having much selection of classes he could pursue a NEWT in. Divination was one of the few subjects they actually enjoyed and their little trio had always had a laugh in that subject in the past. This year, though, it would be only the two of them sans Lucinda who had to pursue her other more important subjects.

"Oh dear, don't get me started. I don't know why my parents can't understand that I'm not going to up and marry some ugly ogress just to uphold the family name. Girls have it too easy, you can just close your eyes and think of flowers and meadows." Tate groaned dramatically. "Now I have to ask. Is it true that Barty saw you with your tits out?"

Meihua glared in Tate's direction, face darkened immediately at his words as they walked down the corridor out of the common room. "He walked in on me changing on the train. How many times do I have to shoot my gob off about that before people stop asking me?"

Tate threw his hands up in the air. "Hey! Sorry if you haven't exactly kept me in the loop. Trust me, people have been saying much worse than that. But if I know anything about my little plum blossom, and I think I do, she wouldn't touch his tiny willy with a ten foot pole."

"I missed you, you bellend."

"Of course, love. Ditto."

Tate pulled Meihua into a tight side embrace as they approached the winding staircase of the North Tower and she couldn't help but smile. No matter what happened, Meihua could always count on Tate to be there waiting for her like a stray cat on the front step every morning, begging for cuddles and scraps.

* * *

Remus insisted that he meet Meihua on the grounds Thursday evening when they both were free from prefect's duties and any other responsibilities. It was to be their first in a series of tutoring sessions on practical Defense Against the Dark Arts. Meihua was beginning to have cold feet about the whole arrangement, but it was a little late to back out on the last second. It was not her best subject by far (rather, her worst) and although she appreciated the gesture, she really didn't want him to observe and critique her mistakes in an intimate environment.

Meihua approached Remus sitting by a tree in by the Great Lake, nose deep in a book. He had already been waiting for a good twenty minutes and he was beginning to wonder if he'd been stood up, relieved and somewhat surprised when he saw her figure approaching in his peripheral vision.

The weather had already dipped slightly in temperature, offering a mild relief from the humid summer air. The light breeze was playing with his hair, blowing the tips into the air whenever it came around. The Great Lake at that time seemed to be completely deserted and she wondered if he chose the setting on purpose, especially since professors and other prefects wouldn't be pleased to find her practising defensive charms and jinxes after having dropped the course.

"You're late," Remus said through a smile.

"Late? Are you sure you aren't early?" Meihua panted from her sprint.

"It's alright, I wasn't waiting too long."

He dog-eared his page before tucking his book away in his robes and she wondered if that was a habit he had with all of his books. He stood up before her, towering over her height. Looking up at him, she saw the evidence of new scars on his face, while others faded away. In the past, she had always assumed a scratch or two was the result the Marauders' misadventures, or a volatile prank backfiring. Boys will be boys, after all. There was something inconsistent about that story though given the fact that his complexion was frequently scarred and his friends' were not. She wondered for a moment if his parents abused him, but she quickly shook that thought out of her mind. He always spoke positively of his home life, and he managed to get new scars at school all the time. Meihua thought darkly that she really must be living in her own little universe that centered around her and her own problems.

"Okay, so what's first on our agenda this evening?" Meihua hoped she hadn't been obviously staring.

"How is your ability at nonverbal spells?" He asked, getting straight to business. "This is going to be an important part of our curriculum this year, though I have already successfully practiced it many times so I could surely tutor you on that."

"Nonexistent," she admitted shyly, already sporting a faint red hue on her cheeks.

"Alright then…" He sighed, eyebrows knit deep in thought. "How about stunning and disarming charms?"

"I can manage that!" she said exasperatedly. "That's beginners' stuff, give me _some_ credit."

"Right… Well, it looks like I'll have my work cut out for me." He smiled in spite of this. He had his share of difficult pupils from the first years he tutored from time to time and had faith Meihua couldn't possibly be quite as hopeless. "Can we practice a few right now?"

"Like, right right now?" she asked hesitantly.

He gave her a smug look. "Of course, what else are we doing here? This is basic stuff. I'm not going to have you read out of a textbook, you know. Besides, I know you are better at practical magic than theory. I want to see what level you're at before I start going over what I learn in class."

Remus walked backwards until he was a fair distance away from Meihua. "Have you ever dueled before?"

"You mean... for fun? No. In class? No." Her and Tate always partnered up in class so they could sneak off to the corner and pretend to look busy when students were asked to duel in class. She was beginning to realize that slacking off for years on end can indeed eventually catch up to you to bite you in the arse.

He raised an eyebrow. "Really? Never? I think that kind of dedication to not doing a lick of work should be considered a skill, actually..."

"I just… don't like unnecessary confrontation, I suppose."

He scoffed. "The real world is nothing like Hogwarts. Chances are, you might one day have to defend yourself, and when that day comes you are not going to have second chances and you won't be able to rely on your looks or your ability to charm your way out of any situation."

Her eyes widened and heart stopped at his words. She couldn't believe her ears. She hadn't known Remus to be a particularly short-tempered person, or to talk badly to others in the time that she knew him. She didn't have an answer for him, staring back with her mouth slightly parted.

He paused and sighed, looking immediately apologetic after he heard his own words. "Er, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I don't mean to be short with you, Meihua. Perhaps it was a bad idea to force this on you. If I know that you want to do this and take this seriously, I'll be by your side to help you as long as you need me."

Meihua's eyebrows knit together and she frowned deeply. She wasn't going to allow him to talk to her like this. All of her pent of anger about school, Lucinda and Barty, feelings of inadequacy and the useless rumours seemed to finally reach a boiling point, bubbling and spilling over the edges. She took her wand out of pocket with trembling hands and pointed it at him.

" _EXPELLIARMUS!"_

His wand flew out of his hand and into the tall branches of the nearby tree. Remus, bewildered, smiled wildly after he came back down to earth.

"That's one! Good job, I didn't see that one coming. At the very least, it seems you could have quick reflexes."

She didn't smile back, staring back at him with an expression that fell empty. "Don't think I'm going to let you walk all over me."

His expression faltered. "I know. I'm sorry. As I said, I didn't mean-"

"Forget it. Let's try something else." Meihua decided that she did want to learn. For the first time in her life, she would try her absolute hardest at the task at hand without worrying about looking foolish or coming up short. The only thing that mattered was coming out on top in the end. If that's what Remus really thought of her, she was determined to prove him wrong.

Remus looked a bit surprised, but didn't look a gift horse in the mouth. He knew he didn't want to see Meihua lose her temper as long as he could help it. "Alright then, get my wand out of that tree and let's take turns stunning and hex-deflecting on each other."

The evening sky grew dark as they practiced several charms, and by the end Remus even taught Meihua a few silly jinxes for good measure. He would take her small hands in his large ones to demonstrate proper hand movements, calloused fingers rough against her painfully soft skin. Long, thin fingers with perfectly manicured nails were enough to destroy him. Remus made a conscious effort to not look into her eyes during any physical contact that he might not throw away any and all abandon and pin the slight girl to the grass beneath him. It was his weakness as a man, he thought, he would have felt the same urges with any other beautiful bird foolish enough to be alone with him. Perhaps his weakness as a vile monster as well, and for that reason he wouldn't have let any woman allow him to defile them, if they were his mates' girlfriends or not.

Meihua was completely worn out by the time they decided to head back to the castle since it was far past curfew. The sky had long since become dim as the sun set and made way for the now waning moon. It seemed bigger and brighter than it normally did. A new moon. Remus himself wore wind tousled hair and his uniform unkempt, tie loosened around his neck. She felt the familiar pulse between her legs looking his state and wondering if he would have the same appearance had he been teaching her things of a more adult genre. Meihua wanted nothing more in that moment than to run her fingers through his hair that was the colour of golden wheat in the sunlight and tawny in the darkness, and tenderly kiss the expanse of each scar on his face.

"Have you ever tried a Patronus charm?" Remus was the first to break the silence on their walk through the grounds back to the castle. Meihua had been staring at the grass beneath her shoes, glancing up at him once she was snapped out of her own thoughts.

"Er, no. I can't say I have…" Meihua said, contemplating the advanced magic. The possibility that he expected her to cast a successful patronus charm was slightly daunting. "Have you?"

"Well, sure. I don't expect you to be able to perform that charm yet, a lot of NEWT level students can't. It can be very useful magic, though, so I think you should try it once on your own. Focus on your happiest memory. It requires very deep concentration."

"..Can you perform a corporeal patronus?"

He tilted his head as if thinking about the question before finally answering. "Well, yes, I can."

She gawked at him. He truly was talented, more than she previously realized if he could manage a feat like that at his young age. "You're serious? What form does it take?"

"It's a...wolf." His expression deadpanned though Meihua wasn't sure why.

"That's cool!" She nudged him playfully. "Can I see it?"

Remus felt a nervous jolt through his system. "Now? Er, don't you think that's a bad idea? We don't want to draw unwanted attention to us right now."

"Oh, please. A Marauder afraid of getting detention?" she teased, hoping he would take it as a challenge. She stopped in front of him so he couldn't walk away.

"No, I'd really rather not right now. Some other time, yeah?" He gave a small smile though his tone said that he stood firm. His hazel eyes were too dark to read in the nighttime. Although Meihua was truthfully a bit disappointed, she let it go.

"What a scaredy cat… Ah well. I wonder what mine'll be."

"Don't set your expectations too high, many people don't have a corporeal patronus." He looked down to her in order to look into her face as he spoke. Meihua was momentarily captivated by the closed distance between them, his large nose she could have kissed.

"Erm, you must know about Sirius' patronus right? It's a black dog…" His voice came out a little louder than a whisper. He cleared his throat and looked away.

"I didn't know that, actually…" Meihua took a step back before continuing her stride. "I guess there's a lot I don't know about him. I never even knew how bad things were for him at home until he showed up on my step that one night. Funny, innit?"

"I'm not sure that's the word I'd use, but… I'd say he cares about you a great deal, even if he isn't much of a sharer. He's like you, Meihua. He doesn't want a lot of people to know his weaknesses."

 _There are things you don't know about either of us_. That's what Meihua wanted to say. Instead she offered him the most genuine smile she could manage though for some reason her heart ached. They walked the rest of the way to the castle in silence filled by the buzzing of crickets. He walked her up to the Hufflepuff common room where he bade her goodnight.

"How was that?" Meihua asked cheekily. "Am I delivering my promise of being an unteachable student?"

"Too early to say," Remus jested. He placed a broad hand on her shoulder. "Don't be too hard on yourself. I was wrong to say what I did, there are times I say things I don't mean when I haven't been feeling well. You must think I'm a right berk and you'd be right to."

She rolled her eyes in spite of the physical contact that made her feel warm. "Have you been feeling okay? You don't look so well, actually."

"I think it's just the after effects of a cold I had."

Meihua had a sudden surge of courage and grabbed his arm as he retreated it, causing his sleeve to fall down to his elbow and revealing a series of fresh scars. "And the scars?"

Time stopped for Remus at her words. He didn't have time to think of a plausible excuse but he knew he had to say something, anything and hope that his expression wouldn't betray him. "Huh? Oh, just horsing around… I've been on the bad end of a few backfiring jinxes myself."

Meihua let out a dry laugh that sounded more like short exhale. "You're a liar, love. Don't worry about it."

Meihua took out her wand from her robes and tapped on the barrels rhythmically before the door of the common room swung open, gaining her entrance. She didn't glance back at him as she closed the door behind her. For someone who was so perceptive about others and wasn't at all shy to pick them apart, Remus was terrible at deception.


	9. A Dangerous Game

**SMUT WARNING**

* * *

Meihua found Sirius waiting for her outside the Room of Requirement in the middle of the night. She had sent him an enchanted note detailing to meet her on the seventh floor, at the tapestry of the trolls' ballet. There was a secret room known only to few, that would appear only to those who knew how to ask for it. Sirius greeted his girlfriend silently with a hug at first, burying his head in the nook of her neck and holding her tightly to him by her waist.

"It feels like it's been forever since we've done this." His voice dipped lower than a whisper, softer than Meihua was used to hearing from him.

Meihua was unable to answer over the thoughts racing wildly in her mind. She wasn't alright. She felt somehow guilty, or undeserving of his embrace. She spent most of the night alone awake in her four poster bed, consumed by the images of her alone with Remus, wanting to caress the scars that crawled over the expanse of his complexion and imagining kissing each one of them. Something was seriously wrong with her.

Sirius stepped away from her to open the door of the secret room, pacing back and forth a few times with his eyes closed. Meihua saw a small, intimate room appear before her with a large dark leather sofa in front of a blazing fireplace. There were numerous tall candles lit on the floor but the room was otherwise quite dim. She followed Sirius to the sofa and sat down, curling up into a fetal position against his chest.

"Er, is something wrong?"

"I just don't feel so good, I don't want to talk about it now if that's quite alright…" She was completely knackered and her head was pounding something fierce. The crackling heat of the wood burning would have lulled her to sleep had she closed her eyes.

"I understand." He ran his fingers from the roots of her hair and combed the locks to the ends before dropping it and starting over again. Straight, silky black hair that seemed endless. He resisted the urge to grab a fistful and tug her head back.

"Kiss me." Meihua looked up at him.

He knit his eyebrows together for a moment, perhaps contemplating his actions before he acted. Normally he wouldn't have squandered the opportunity, but he had to wonder what kind of state she was in. Sirius leaned in so slowly that Meihua thought an eternity passed before their lips finally met. If he was waiting for her to change her mind, it wasn't going to happen.

His lips were shy against hers at first, until she took his angular jaw between her palms and deepened the kiss. Meihua needed him more than ever now, to bury every dark thought in her mind with the weight of him on top of her.

Meihua lowered her back on the sofa with his body still attached to her own as he planted gentle kisses from her jawline down to her collarbone. The thin skin over her bones was sensitive, reacting to his touch as if it were small sparks of electricity. His hands which were supporting him above her were placed on either side of her waist, squeezing tightly. Finally Meihua tilted her head back, eyes open and staring blankly at the wooden beams on the ceiling as she focused on the physical sensations.

His kisses became increasingly more wet and driven each time as he abandoned any inhibition. It wasn't long before he began to nip and pull at the skin of her neck with his teeth. This caused Meihua to writhe underneath him, grinding her hips against his and bringing her hands to his neck to pull loose the sloppily tied half Windsor knot. They both shrugged themselves free of their outer robes now that the heat in the room had intensified. Meihua could feel his excitement growing, pushing against the fabric of her skirt and she did nothing short of encouraging him by bringing her thigh up between his legs.

He groaned, muffled by her flesh between his teeth. One of his hands slipped underneath her sweater, exploring the expanse of her stomach before reaching up to her brassiere. He squeezed her breast once before pulling the fabric down to expose it. His fingers grazed her nipples at first then tweaked, causing her to gasp and throw her head back against the arm of the sofa. She pulled her sweater over her head and hastily unbuttoned her shirt, and Sirius acted in accordance.

When he came down on top of her again, he snaked his hands behind her back to fumble with the clasp of her bra all the while sucking on the skin between her throat and collarbone. Meihua arched her back to assist him, but when his hands still idly buckled the material she reached a hand behind her back to easily do it herself. Sirius retreated slightly, pulling the straps down her shoulders painstakingly slow, savouring each inch of skin as it became exposed. Her face flushed several shades darker but she kept her eyes on his wanton stare as it consumed the sight of her exposed body. It was the first time Meihua had ever been fully exposed to anyone properly, and she thought her heart could beat right out of her chest. His grey eyes seemed worlds darker with his lust and the dim light of the room.

Meihua swallowed and willed her voice to be strong. "Can we break a rule tonight?"

He was breathing heavily. "Are you absolutely sure? I wouldn't want - that is, if you're..."

Meihua leaned forward and kissed him in order silence him. Words were cheap and they both knew they were already too gone. She didn't want to speak anymore and she didn't want to think anymore. Sirius suddenly rushed back down on top of her, entering her mouth roughly with his tongue. She grabbed onto his belt, undoing the buckle and slipping it through each of his trousers' loops one by one as she kissed him back. At last she shed her skirt and found herself only in her stockings and knickers. He pushed Meihua by her shoulders so her back lay flat on the sofa, and his eyes found the apex of her thighs. He ran his finger underneath the lace fabric of her pants slowly, peeling back the fabric and exposing her vulva. His breathing quickened again and he looked into her eyes as he gently grazed down the exposed skin before his finger met the opening. Meihua gripped at the sofa as his finger entered her, gradually at first before he explored her insides.

"You look so beautiful - you know that, Mei?"

When he found a spot that made her cry out, he applied more pressure in a come hither motion. Her legs trembled and her knees buckled as she gasped from the powerful sensation which only encouraged him to repeat it again, and again until she could barely stand it. Meihua couldn't watch his face or even bear to keep her eyes open, squeezing them tightly shut as she fought for her legs to lay still. When his thumb simultaneously brushed up against her clitoris, she lost it - giving into the tremors and spasms that wracked her entire body. Although Meihua couldn't manage a single coherent word, she yelped and cried out over and over again until the climax peaked.

Sirius kissed Meihua again, gently, finger still inside her as she slowly came back down to earth. When she opened her eyes, she found him staring, waiting. Though he said nothing, she could tell he was looking for reassurance. So she kissed him back once more, deeply, brushing her teeth against his lower lip and he hastily removed his trousers. His hands were shaking terribly, and Meihua wondered if, despite his reputation, he had ever done this before. It wasn't something they ever talked about.

Meihua watched carefully as he fully undressed to match her state, growing more red in the face if that was possible as she saw his swollen member and her heart began to beat furiously. She had never really considered the pain before, but something about him told her it wasn't going to be a breeze on her first time.

Sirius paused after bringing his hips up to hers, just barely touching the entrance. Sirius brought a hand up to her chin, tilting her face up and kissing her as a distraction from his next move. Meihua gripped hard onto his back with sharp nails and screamed into the kiss, not able to withstand the sudden sharp pain. He then brought his hands up to hold her wrists down as he lay there, still, waiting for her to accommodate him. Meihua writhed and sobbed dryly underneath his grip. Though it hurt so much she could barely stand it, it was better to focus on the physical sensation and nothing else.

Once Meihua calmed down, he began to slowly thrust in and out of her. Still slowly. When she opened her eyes finally, she could see clearly in his face that his sensation was completely different from her own during this experience. His face was screwed up in pleasure; his mouth was slightly open and his jaw set, and every move he made was jagged and repressed.

"It feels so good and tight…"

When she managed to finally relax, she let her head roll back and closed her eyes. He brought his grip down to her hips, lifting her up slightly and thrusting into her faster and more evenly. He began to groan and growl lowly. At a certain point the pain subdued slightly and Meihua began to enjoy the pressure, so she rocked her hips to meet his rhythm.

"Mei, I'm sorry… I need to-"

His breath hitched then and he began to thrust so deep and hard that Meihua thought he must be hitting her cervix. He let out a long sigh after he collapsed on top of her. For a moment, they just lay there together in silence filled only by their panting breath. Meihua opened her eyes to find his own closed, and if it weren't for his irregular breathing patterns she would have thought him to be asleep.

Eventually she rolled out from underneath him and began to gather her things, slipping back into her skirt and buttoning up her shirt. Her legs were weak and wobbling, and she could still feel a dull pain in her groin. Meihua was somehow both disappointed and elated that it was over already.

"Are you leaving?" Sirius croaked.

"I think so, yeah." Her voice came out just above a coarse whisper.

"Why not just sleep here together?" He opened his eyes, rolling over onto his back on the sofa. He looked a little confused.

"I still have classes in the morning, I think I'll try to get some sleep and hopefully not arouse any more suspicion. The girls will be asking questions."

"Alright then…" He sounded a bit dejected, but got up nonetheless. "Wait for me to get dressed and I'll walk you to the common room."

* * *

They managed to walk the distance to the Hufflepuff common room without being disturbed by any professors or ghouls lurking in the dark corridors. After Sirius bade Meihua goodnight with a hug and kiss on the cheek, she tip toed back into the dormitory. She threw back the curtains of the four poster bed and was about to sleep still in her uniform when she heard a rustling behind her.

Lucinda, wide awake, peered at her friend from behind her own bed's curtains. She was sitting up with a book on her lap and a light coming from her wand that was previously dimmed by the thick curtains. She whispered harshly. "Where were you all night?"

Meihua groaned. Of course Lucinda would be awake waiting to interrogate her like some old nag waiting for her useless husband. "I'm tired, can I sleep?"

"You've had sex," Lucinda stated matter-of-factly, regarding her friend from head to toe.

"So you're psychic now?" Meihua rolled her eyes. "Doesn't matter if I did, please mind your own."

Lucinda's brow furrowed deeply. "In case you've forgotten, we're supposed to be best friends. I don't know what's gotten into you lately."

"Will you please lower your voice, or do you want the entire dormitory to hear you?" Meihua whispered harshly to her friend. "If I had half a mind right now, I'd tell you to go and do one."

"I don't need to be a Seer to tell. You reek of sex. Your uniform looks like it was put on by a blind elf. Was it Sirius then?" She lay back on her pillow, still looking at Meihua with a slight scowl.

"No, it was Barty." Meihua shed her clothes down to her underwear, discarding them on the floor beside her bed and crawled under the covers. She was about to shut the curtains when she heard Lucinda sniffle.

"I miss you, Meihua."

Meihua sighed. "Go to bed. We'll talk in the morning."

Meihua turned over in her bed to face the opposite direction. She fell into a dreamless sleep as soon as she closed her eyes.

Meihua didn't speak to Lucinda the next morning, or in the several days passing after that. Meihua had been spending most of her time with the Marauders since that night, even coming back to the dormitory at hours when everyone was already asleep. There were times when they walked past each other in the corridors, or fleeting moments when they locked eyes across the Great Hall during dinner.

Meihua had run into the library to try to do some reading for a test she had in Muggle Studies. So far Seventh Year was proving to be the hardest yet, and never before had she willingly gone to the library to actually study this early in the semester. She had invited Tate, who bailed in the end to gossip with some Hufflepuff girls in the common room. It was, of course, impossible to do any real studying there.

Meihua was making her way through the aisles when she saw Remus and Lily sitting at a table together, perched over textbooks and parchment strewn over the table. They were laughing animatedly about something, with Remus throwing his head back and Lily covering her mouth with her hand. Meihua hadn't realised she was standing there, watching, until Lily noticed her and waved her over. She forced a smile and a surprised look as if she had just happened upon them and walked over.

"Oh, Lily. Remus. I didn't think I would bump into you lot here…"

"We have a project together in Defense Against the Dark Arts," Lily said through a smile. "It's kind of a silly project, but we're having a laugh with it."

Lily's ginger locks burned bright red in the sunlight coming down from the tall windows and her vivid green eyes seemed illuminated. Meihua felt the bubble of contempt rise in her chest, silently cursing herself for her own malicious nature. What a beautiful and talented witch Lily was, it should have come as little surprise to Meihua that Lily had the prowess to draw any man's attention. Though it had been only been days since they last saw each other, Meihua felt already somehow distant from Remus. Since she approached the pair, he hadn't quite met her eye and instead his eyes seemed to dart in every other direction.

"And what brings you to the library today?" Remus said with an arch of his brow, feigning unusual interest in his notes. "I don't think I saw Sirius hanging around."

"No," Meihua interjected hotly. _Could there really be anything between them, even though it's patently obvious that James is head over heels for this girl?_ "I'm actually here to study… believe it or not."

There couldn't be. If the only reason Sirius ever stopped himself from pursuing a woman, it was because of his best friend James. Surely Remus would have felt the same way. But seeing them together, they seemed to have such natural chemistry - much more than what could have been said for Remus's attitude towards her now. She was just being crazy. Or perhaps it was her last words to him the last time they parted, or…

Meihua felt her heartbeat quicken with a sudden realization. _Did Sirius tell him everything?_

Lily must have missed the tension in the air as she smiled at Meihua's comment. "What is you're studying for?"

"Ah, Muggle Studies, you know."

"Oh, right _that_ paper. I only just finished it last night," Lily said, adding in a quieter tone, "We have that class with the Slytherins, of course. Not too many of them take the class, but they'll make it harder on those who do try to enjoy it."

Meihua let out a short laugh that came out less genuine than she'd hoped. "Yeah, I got you."

I got you? Meihua was going to obliterate herself if she couldn't stop being awkward long enough to get through this exchange.

"Actually," Remus closed his textbook, "If you don't mind, I'd like to have a word with you. It'll only take a minute."

"Don't distract her too much from her studies," Lily nagged jokingly as she tucked a thick lock of hair behind her ear.

"S-sure." So it wasn't her imagination that something seemed off. No one ever asked for 'a word' alone just to make small talk.

Meihua followed Remus after he rose from his chair and past her down the aisle between the tall bookshelves until they reached the far end of the library. He turned to face her, again not quite meeting her eye line as his eyes fell on the lower half of her face, tracing her profile down the slight curve of her nose down to her lips, and then her chin...

"I don't really know any other way to say this, so I'll get straight to the point…" Remus ran a hand through his hair, which looked more shaggy and unkempt than usual. He sported dark circles under his eyes and the smiling face she saw only moments ago when he was with Lily seemed eons away.

If possible, Meihua's heart beat even harder in her chest as mere seconds seem to last an eternity waiting for him to continue. She was never known for her patience. "You're looking a bit peaky today… Is everything ok?"

Remus considered her question for a moment. "You don't need to worry about me all the time. I know I get sick often, I have a terrible immune system. It's no more than just that - there's no secrets or mysteries for you to investigate."

He responded shortly, with a tone low and hoarse that sent a shiver down her spine. It wasn't like him at all. Meihua had asked him many times over the years if she was well, and he always reassured her with his winsome smile. The space in between the bookshelves felt as though it was closing in on her. Meihua realized her words to him the other night weren't up for discussion.

"What are you doing with Sirius?"

Meihua's face paled. "W..what?"

"You two have been going out for a while now. A lot longer than any girls Sirius dated before. Do you love him?"

The question took Meihua by surprise, and she went silent for a moment though she had no intention of answering him. "What has he told you?"

Remus furrowed his brow in frustration at her answering his question with her own, and decided two could play at that game. "Something seems off, doesn't it?"

He had a feeling it would go something like this. Meihua had a temper, and she had the power to make people submit at her scowl. However she also avoided direct confrontations and talking about her feelings, and he could see from her body language that whatever he was doing was working. Meihua seemed even smaller than usual, her shoulders drooping and arms crossed over her chest.

"I don't see what you're getting at."

"Don't give me that."

Meihua couldn't stare back unblinkingly into his hazel eyes any longer, letting her eyelids droop as she thought over his words. It was unclear whether he knew about Sirius and her being… intimate last night, perhaps she was being paranoid. No, Sirius had probably been bragging about shagging her since they first started dating. Still, short of running away, there wasn't much she could do to avoid giving him any answer at all. She thought that Remus would have been able to see her facade if anyone could, and she was tired. She never anticipated being put on the spot like this. Her voice came out low and demure as she spoke with her head still tilted downwards. "You would do well to mind your own affairs… You wouldn't understand even if I told you, anyway."

"Try me."

Remus had the upper hand in this exchange after all, she realized. Not having the least idea what Remus might already know, she decided to throw all caution to

the wind. _Fuck it_.

"Sirius and I are practically just using each other. We both like other people, always have done. It's just convenient and it's familiar, and we're both too stupid to go to anyone else."

"That's not true," Remus said accusingly, his tone rising. "I don't know about you, but I happen to know my best friend. I've seen Sirius use girls before. You're not one of them. And besides, who is he supposed to like? There's never been a girl he liked that he hasn't sought after and you know that."

Meihua's face grew hot as she felt her anxiety boil into rage. She couldn't stand Remus speak as if he knew everything. Her brows furrowed deeply as she spoke practically through her teeth. "Oh really? What about pretty little Evans, property of James Potter? You really think he would have gone after _that_ girl?"

Remus's face fell into shock, but he took another step forward. His voice came out a bit louder than a harsh whisper. "You're lying."

"Oh, he didn't tell you?" Meihua said audaciously. His resolve had faltered and her bitch instincts flooded in - this was the moment she would make a low blow. "Perhaps you're not as good as friends as you think. I obviously shouldn't have told you that if he couldn't trust you with the information."

Meihua turned briskly on her heel, prepared to storm out of the library without giving him a chance for rebuttal. She didn't take one step before she felt a sharp pain in her forearm, Remus's large hand forcing her backwards and shoving her back into the bookshelf with both hands on her shoulders.

Her eyes grew wide as she saw his face inches from hers, eyes dilating rapidly. It was a different person before her. He looked feral.

"Who is it that you like?" Remus growled.

Meihua was dizzy, she was scared and in pain from the pressure of his large hands on her that were bound to leave bruises… and yet somehow she felt her thighs squeezing tightly together, and warmth in her groin.

Her lips parted slightly, slowly, now feeling dry. She mustered whatever courage she had left in her to speak audibly. "...You."

Meihua didn't have time enough to see his face after the word escaped her lips and he came down on her, craning his neck to captured her lips in his. It was unlike every fantasy she had ever imagined - in the scenes she played in her mind, he was always so tender and soft as the gentleman he was. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined him so rough and demanding.

The initial shock wore off and she let her body lean into his, with her trembling hands finding their way to his chest and grasping a fistfull of his robes. She kissed him back and felt his tongue running over her bottom lip, lubricating the dry skin. That was when she parted her lips farther, inviting him in. She was finally about to taste him. Nothing else in the world existed at that moment.

Remus suddenly removed his hands from her person and stumbled backwards. Meihua hadn't realized how weak her knees had become, or that she was only remaining standing by the force of his hands pinning her back. She fell down on her knees instantly and she saw black. She forced her eyes open and shut to restore her vision after her bout of vertigo.

The first thing that came into focus was the look on Remus's face. He was wide eyed, mouth agape and trembling. His chest heaved with each gasp of breathe. He had snapped out of whatever trance he was in and registered his movements. Mind going wild with all of the possible consequences.

Meihua had never seen this look on him or any other man before, but she knew exactly what it was. Instant regret.

"I'm so sorry. Please forgive me and forget that ever happened."

Before Meihua could mutter any response, he vanished - running out of sight and presumably out of the library. There would be no use in chasing after him, he was gone both literally and figuratively. She felt a dull pain in her chest that she couldn't pinpoint as loneliness or humiliation, and decided it was probably a mixture of both.

After a moment of sitting there and staring at the design in the carpet, she stood up and smoothed out the wrinkles in her uniform. She almost felt as though she wanted to cry even though she knew no tears would come. It wasn't in her nature to be reduced to tears so easily, especially not in public. Not even if she felt rejected by the only guy she ever really liked. Deciding that studying was the furthest thing in her mind, she waited a moment before trying to inconspicuously slip out of the library to avoid Evans and everyone else. She needed to get the hell out of there.

Her attempts were mostly successful as she disappeared into the maze of bookshelves, save a pair of eyes that had watched the entire exchange from start to finish from the other side of the bookshelf.

* * *

Did ya miss me? Well, I'll just leave this here and show myself out ^_^" Any thoughts, feedback, favourites/follows are much, much appreciated. Who do you think those curious eyes happened to be?


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